Many days now, I have so much trouble getting to the chiropracter because of all I have to do.
Friday, I finished setting up my massage office (mind you with no clients lined up!) and sat down to rest when I panicked that I didn't have my state license nor massage diploma hung. I reached in the bag to pull them out, when I found that all I had in the bag was the "professional" black frames inside, and no license or diploma. I freaked, drove home with my mind in a buzz, trying to imagine where I had put the documents.
At home I searched but didn't find them. Called my friend Sara to see if she knew what I did with them (why would she know!) then proceeded to demolish my bedroom and living room looking for the stuff.
I searched for maybe 15 minutes when I realized I just needed to give it a break and try again later. Normally these things are sitting right in front of me, so with that thought I left my room and went back to my office. Panic continued to rule me for at least one more hour. As soon as I would look at my beautiful office space, I would remember that I couldn't practice massage without them posted, then freak out again.
Finally, after searching in my storage unit, I returned home to check the house again. Oh what did I do? To anyone else, it would have seemed that a burgular came and ransacked the entire room. Still no documents, so I resigned to not having them for at least 2 or 3 more days, since I had to pick up the kids from school to take them to their dad in Memphis.
This weekend I visited with my best friends mom who is dying. She half-raised me so I consider her my second mom. I took some massage lotion with me and worked on her (I asked her permission, altho she isn't alert anymore, enough to accept or decline). I think more than likely that I saw her for the last time. My heart hurts. My best friend has been sitting with her mom round the clock for weeks now, and she is in such a sad place. I wish I could take it all away from her so she could be happy again. Her dad died 13 years ago, so now when her mom dies, she will be an orphan. My best friend is 40, so technically she will not be an orphan, but when your parents die, when you are so young, it is a sort of abandonment.
We came home Sunday night, very late, and the kids were so tired. I had to carry one of the girls into the house, and there they fell into a deep sleep. Lakshmi curled into my arms, so that we spooned together, and I had the best sleep I have had in a long time.
Monday morning, I took the kids to school, and began looking for my massage license and diploma again.
I had to make a veggie dish for Priya's Christmas Party at school, and bring a snack for Lakshmi's. Somewhere there I had to go to the chiropracter and go to my office and try to entice some clients to recieve massage, and then find a gift for Lakshmi and Priya's teachers (they are in different classes) then go to the school and help with Priya's Christmas party. Oh dear! I didn't have time for Priya's veggie dish and ended up bringing pretzels and banana bread slices (store bought). I got some other snack for Lakshmi's class, and accidently took all of to Priya's classroom, then had to retrieve it from Priya's, so Lakshmi would have something to share.
I bounced back and forth between both classes, as Lakshmi's teacher spotted me in the hall and asked me to come to their class for a bite of pizza, that by the time the parties were over, and Priya had consumed 4 (that's right folks....FOUR) regular chocolate bars, all the kids had exchanged gifts, the teachers had given each child a gift and santa (and his eight tiny reindeer!) had seen all the kids, I could have taken a nap on the hood of the van! Oh vey!
I HAD to go back to my office, and continue to let clients know that I was there, a real human being (bean) who would love to give massage (underwear on or off... some lady was asking me about that) and I had Lakshmi and Priya with me because school let out early, then while on my way in the car, I had the bright idea to call the massage board and ask for a replacement license, and could I practice anyway until I got the replacement....and the answer was yes! WHEW!
I realized that I needed to either go pick up Ravi, or call and send him on the bus. Thankfully he is big enough to handle that, and so that is what I did. I finally spent a very relaxing time in my office, reading a massage book, and gave a "sample" hand massage to the person I am renting from.
So far I have sold TWO GIFT CERTIFICATES! So far not ONE MASSAGE has been done...just little samples.
: [
I pray that if I actually do get massage clients, that I won't be THIS busy!
On a more serious note, I am having problems with the kids dad, and he is not wanting to be flexible with me and the kids, altho when I unexpectedly arrived in Memphis last week, he benefitted by seeing the kids during a no-visitation time. Lakshmi is having some serious adjustment issues, and apparently shared with one of her little friends' mom how she doesn't like all the driving back and forth, and how she is unhappy about it.
I knew she was having a hard time. She needs LOTS of down time, just piddling, relaxing, non-pushy, non-pressured time, but when with her dad, she is being bounced around alot, between him and his friend, and apparently her dad went dumpster diving with my kids, going inside the dumpster, leaving them alone outside of it, while he searched for toys, clothing and housing decorations. This is a man, who was once a terrific husband, great father and all around wonderful, delightful person to share my company along side. Now he is going through the dumps, looking for things, his OCD has overtaken him, and he is a workaholic working 7 days a week as well.
How can he give her the down time she needs, to process information, experiences and truely meet her needs?
What about Ravi? He is expected to be left with the babysitter friend, when what he truely wants is to be with his dad.
At this holiday season, I am feeling a hugh sadness for my kids, and for myself. I wanted to protect them from the abuse, and when I did, I placed them in his hands alone without me being the buffer. My precious souls, are exposed to all the harsh realities of the world, the babies that I nursed at my breast, the ones who recieved nothing but love and gentleness from me, are now at risk for poor self esteem, drugs, alcohol and poverty.
I pray that their dad will find it in his heart to get help, and that Lakshmi can spend more time with me. Currently dad is hard-nosing with his visitation rights - where he insist on having her with him, even tho he will be working full time, and she wants me.
I have poured out my heart here today, because I wonder how I can help my kids.
Jyotsna
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
Finding Our Balance
Finally I am able to come back to blogging, on a regular basis. There is so much to tell. For one thing, life is generally going smooth. The kids are doing well in school, I am improving my honing skills (directional) and I am no longer lost like I was in th beginning. I can drive from one town to another, or find a tiny country farm.
When I first got here a little over a month ago, I accidently found a goat farm. Then a couple of weeks later I FOUND them again, on purpose! LOL! I would love to have a couple of goats so I could give Priya goat milk, fresh. I think she would find goat milk much more copable.
Just yesterday, I found the part of town where one can buy a $300,000.00 house. Getting lost is really like finding myself!
Our daily balance in life is that of getting used to going to a new school. We attended a Christmas program the other night at the school, and we felt so much more at home.
Ravi is having a hard time finding his balance here. He came home from visiting with his dad, saying, "It's boring in the country!". There is so much more to do in the city, like going to a park, or going to museums." I asked him if he had been to a park yet with his dad. "Well, yes, once, in the dark". I asked, "Have you been to a museum yet?" Ravi said, "No, but I plan to and you can't go to a museum here in the country, it is soooo boring".
Of course, Ravi wasn't with me the weekend that I went to an art museum, and I hadn't any idea that he wanted to go. Last time I asked him, he told me they were boring!! LOL!
Ravi is riding the fence right now. He see's that at his dad's, he can do things he can't do at my house. I won't let him sass me, nor is he allowed to kick the walls, spray paint the garage or be mean to his little sisters. With his dad, if he gets mad due to his dad's attempts to discipline, his dad will coddle him to stop him from being angry. Ravi is seeing the distinct advantage in living with his dad, instead of me.
Last night when Ravi was in bed, his dad called (he called earlier but Ravi was in the shower -- and his dad wanted me to HOLD THE PHONE till Ravi was finished!). Ravi talked with his dad, and started playing with him, sounding very sad, and lonely, and then said, "I want to be with you daddy". So after they got off the phone, Ravi proceeded to cry, to lose control of himself and nothing I could do could help him feel better. Finally I told him, "Son, I am sorry you feel so sad. You will see your dad very soon, remember during Christmas holidays?". RAvi continued to cry, and this turned into a temper tantrum where he said he didn't like me anymore. At that point I told him I love him very much, but that I would NOT stand around getting my feelings hurt. If he needed me, he would need to let me know, but I was going to leave the room. At this point he began to cry again, and said he needed me. I sat there with him and rubbed his back, and listened to him.
Ravi is confused. He wants the freedom to not be supervised with his dad. His dad is so selfish in many ways, that he has very little idea of what is going on in Ravi's heart. This is where Ravi gets very upset, and has fantasys of what it would be like if his dad really did care and understand him.
Bottom line, he is playing the fences, one time he is tattling on his dad to me, and another moment he is saying he wants to live ith his dad. I guess I never thought it would come so soon!
come back from a visit, it takes several days for them to get back in the swing on things. So far school is not suffering, but I assume that it will, if we can't find our balance in visitations.
EVERYDAY LIVING:
As far as our home life, the kids are having a wonderful time, with the exception of some fighting occassionally amoung the kids. Let me explain that. We are living in another families home at this time. Their are 9 of us here, total of 6 kids, 3 adults. Not it isn't some group home thingy. My friends saw the situation I was in with my now ex-husband, not having income, no savings, and no money what so ever. Our of their kind hearts, they offered to share their new addition with us, so we now live in that, which used to be a very large garage.
The woman, Sara, and I share cooking duties, and rotate kitchen cleaning ect. While I have set up my living room in our sleeping space (with a very cool media set-up) we use their dining room and kitchen. We have two refrigerators, and there are only two bathrooms amoung us. Naturally the dishwasher and bathtub are always running!! Ravi is taking showers most of the time now, so at least it doesn't take as long to get him all cleaned up.
We have about 20 acres of land to run around on, and the kids use this to their full advantage. Amoung all the fun things, there are bikes for all the kids, a trampoline, in the summer there is a feeding trough for a pool, and a garden to help with, and horses EVERYWHERE. The kids believe I have special magical powers because I talk to the horses and they always whiney or neigh back at me.
The kids are pretty resourceful with the land, and I think more than bikes and toys, the earth is the most interesting thing to them. They dig, and dig, and dig. I think Lakshmi made it to China one day. That's what I did as a child. I dreamed of digging a fort into the ground. I was going to be able to go down into the hole, and everyone else would be able to stand on the ground over it. Then I could go down to China, through my secret door. Most of the other side of the world was mapped in my mind thorugh digging! Since I grew up in the south, in the Bible thumping region of the world, even the Devil (mythical figure of the underworld) could be accessable through digging, but the only other way there was through hells burning gates!
Personally for me, I can't wait until we start to grow our garden.
I love the musty smell of the damp earth on my hands.
HOUSE HUNTING:
While I am not nearly ready to buy a house, I have done my share of looking. Just the other day I was eyeing a beautiful but unfinished house. I just stopped in front of it to eye it up close, and the man who owns the house, came out and said hello. Apparently, as the story goes, in 1999, a tornado touched down here in the town, and stripped several blocks of houses, leaving nothing but the dirt. He didn't tell me if anyone died, but from the looks of the town, it has been hard for everyone to rebuild. I wondered why there were some mobile homes in the neighborhoods, where usually the associations don't allow that.
He told me that second story was completely destroyed, and pulled off the house. He decided to build around the entire house, so that the house from before is there, but a new house will be there. I don't understand the concept, but apparently the house was an antebellum, and they didn't want to see the house bulldozed.
The houses for sale in this area stretch from cottages, ranches, bungalows, historic homes from 200 years ago, to incredible $300,000.00 and up homes. This is a tiny town compared to where I lived before. It has it's quaint feel, and I love it in many ways.
Sadly, I can only afford a house in the $100,000.00 range.
In a few days, I will post a few photos of the area, and houses for sale.
When I first got here a little over a month ago, I accidently found a goat farm. Then a couple of weeks later I FOUND them again, on purpose! LOL! I would love to have a couple of goats so I could give Priya goat milk, fresh. I think she would find goat milk much more copable.
Just yesterday, I found the part of town where one can buy a $300,000.00 house. Getting lost is really like finding myself!
Our daily balance in life is that of getting used to going to a new school. We attended a Christmas program the other night at the school, and we felt so much more at home.
Ravi is having a hard time finding his balance here. He came home from visiting with his dad, saying, "It's boring in the country!". There is so much more to do in the city, like going to a park, or going to museums." I asked him if he had been to a park yet with his dad. "Well, yes, once, in the dark". I asked, "Have you been to a museum yet?" Ravi said, "No, but I plan to and you can't go to a museum here in the country, it is soooo boring".
Of course, Ravi wasn't with me the weekend that I went to an art museum, and I hadn't any idea that he wanted to go. Last time I asked him, he told me they were boring!! LOL!
Ravi is riding the fence right now. He see's that at his dad's, he can do things he can't do at my house. I won't let him sass me, nor is he allowed to kick the walls, spray paint the garage or be mean to his little sisters. With his dad, if he gets mad due to his dad's attempts to discipline, his dad will coddle him to stop him from being angry. Ravi is seeing the distinct advantage in living with his dad, instead of me.
Last night when Ravi was in bed, his dad called (he called earlier but Ravi was in the shower -- and his dad wanted me to HOLD THE PHONE till Ravi was finished!). Ravi talked with his dad, and started playing with him, sounding very sad, and lonely, and then said, "I want to be with you daddy". So after they got off the phone, Ravi proceeded to cry, to lose control of himself and nothing I could do could help him feel better. Finally I told him, "Son, I am sorry you feel so sad. You will see your dad very soon, remember during Christmas holidays?". RAvi continued to cry, and this turned into a temper tantrum where he said he didn't like me anymore. At that point I told him I love him very much, but that I would NOT stand around getting my feelings hurt. If he needed me, he would need to let me know, but I was going to leave the room. At this point he began to cry again, and said he needed me. I sat there with him and rubbed his back, and listened to him.
Ravi is confused. He wants the freedom to not be supervised with his dad. His dad is so selfish in many ways, that he has very little idea of what is going on in Ravi's heart. This is where Ravi gets very upset, and has fantasys of what it would be like if his dad really did care and understand him.
Bottom line, he is playing the fences, one time he is tattling on his dad to me, and another moment he is saying he wants to live ith his dad. I guess I never thought it would come so soon!
come back from a visit, it takes several days for them to get back in the swing on things. So far school is not suffering, but I assume that it will, if we can't find our balance in visitations.
EVERYDAY LIVING:
As far as our home life, the kids are having a wonderful time, with the exception of some fighting occassionally amoung the kids. Let me explain that. We are living in another families home at this time. Their are 9 of us here, total of 6 kids, 3 adults. Not it isn't some group home thingy. My friends saw the situation I was in with my now ex-husband, not having income, no savings, and no money what so ever. Our of their kind hearts, they offered to share their new addition with us, so we now live in that, which used to be a very large garage.
The woman, Sara, and I share cooking duties, and rotate kitchen cleaning ect. While I have set up my living room in our sleeping space (with a very cool media set-up) we use their dining room and kitchen. We have two refrigerators, and there are only two bathrooms amoung us. Naturally the dishwasher and bathtub are always running!! Ravi is taking showers most of the time now, so at least it doesn't take as long to get him all cleaned up.
We have about 20 acres of land to run around on, and the kids use this to their full advantage. Amoung all the fun things, there are bikes for all the kids, a trampoline, in the summer there is a feeding trough for a pool, and a garden to help with, and horses EVERYWHERE. The kids believe I have special magical powers because I talk to the horses and they always whiney or neigh back at me.
The kids are pretty resourceful with the land, and I think more than bikes and toys, the earth is the most interesting thing to them. They dig, and dig, and dig. I think Lakshmi made it to China one day. That's what I did as a child. I dreamed of digging a fort into the ground. I was going to be able to go down into the hole, and everyone else would be able to stand on the ground over it. Then I could go down to China, through my secret door. Most of the other side of the world was mapped in my mind thorugh digging! Since I grew up in the south, in the Bible thumping region of the world, even the Devil (mythical figure of the underworld) could be accessable through digging, but the only other way there was through hells burning gates!
Personally for me, I can't wait until we start to grow our garden.
I love the musty smell of the damp earth on my hands.
HOUSE HUNTING:
While I am not nearly ready to buy a house, I have done my share of looking. Just the other day I was eyeing a beautiful but unfinished house. I just stopped in front of it to eye it up close, and the man who owns the house, came out and said hello. Apparently, as the story goes, in 1999, a tornado touched down here in the town, and stripped several blocks of houses, leaving nothing but the dirt. He didn't tell me if anyone died, but from the looks of the town, it has been hard for everyone to rebuild. I wondered why there were some mobile homes in the neighborhoods, where usually the associations don't allow that.
He told me that second story was completely destroyed, and pulled off the house. He decided to build around the entire house, so that the house from before is there, but a new house will be there. I don't understand the concept, but apparently the house was an antebellum, and they didn't want to see the house bulldozed.
The houses for sale in this area stretch from cottages, ranches, bungalows, historic homes from 200 years ago, to incredible $300,000.00 and up homes. This is a tiny town compared to where I lived before. It has it's quaint feel, and I love it in many ways.
Sadly, I can only afford a house in the $100,000.00 range.
In a few days, I will post a few photos of the area, and houses for sale.
Wednesday, November 30, 2005
I moved....
Well, I moved 3 weeks ago, and I am just finally getting back online to do blogging. The kids and I are fine, and we are right smack in the middle of horse country. The area is beautiful, and I feel very happy. This evening, we chased the sunset up into a mountain, and dinner was 1 hour late due to us going a "BIT" further than I had planned!! :)
Tonight the sunset was pink and purple, Lakshmi and Priya's favorite colors! It was the most brilliant change of colors I have seen, all in bold hot colors. Then right before the sun went below the horizon, the wind streaked the colors, and it was as if god placed a paintbrush in the colors and zigzaged. Wow, right before our eyes we were astonished with the grand show.
Every day we see beautiful things like this. I never new how beautiful a day could be. I feel like part of me was dead, and then we came here and all of me is alive again.
A few days ago, I was at the local grocery store, and saw a magazine about small rooms (interior decorating!). I opened it and there was the most incredible tree house in it, and I want to share the link with you. I plan to build this house (tree house) for the kids and I to retreat to.
To see photo's of this cozy tree house, go to:
www.hearthwoods.com
Check out those bunkbeds and all the wood on the floors, walls and such. My kids are going nuts over this, and frankly so I am.
Perhaps I could build it in a couple of months, with the help of others, and what a fun family vacation home it would be. Of course it would have to have a bathroom and kitchenette in it, which the original doesn't have, since it is in the backyard of the owners home.
AH!!!! Vacation!!
Actually, we have had such a delicious vacation in the last few weeks. I don't know how we got away with it, but I took the kids out of school one week before we moved, and then kept them out for one more week after the move. We got our things settled, and started getting to know the place around us.
The first thing I did was stop at the chiropractor and get started with getting adjustments. I have never had the money to do this before, since I could barely afford to feed the kids and me.
It is costly, but worth it.
Then we visited the school's family center where you can check out books, teaching materials, and more. It has books on behaviour issues and so many sweet books, including one about diversity. I haven't read it, but thought it was neat. This school and it's parent center is very supportive of families. IN a place where families are living at or below the median poverty level, it is wonderful to see such a caring community, where education is first in the lives of all.
Well, we met the Indians living here, all two families!! Our family makes three! Ha ha ha!!! no kidding. The other two families are Gujerati and own motels here. Apparently there are other families in a town about 1 hour from here, so we will be making frequent trips to Little Rock, AR, to keep in association with other Indians.
While I am at it, I had a job interview today! I hope to get some good news about it soon. Wish me luck.
Basically now, we are starting to get used to (that is loosely termed) to the new visiting schedule that the kids have with their dad. Ravi and Lakshmi will have their first weekend with their dad where I am not in Memphis. I go back and forth between worry and sadness. I want my kids with me, but currently, their dad is keeping up with the visit schedule.
He will pick them up on Friday, then drive 1 hour and 45 minutes in the dark to Memphis. Hope he drives safely. HOwever, the kids are telling me that he is driving 80 mph and more on the roads, and they are scared. Me too!
Well, keep us in your thoughts and hope that all will go well with visit. Lakshmi keeps telling me that she wants to be with me everywhere, everyday, all the time, and she wants to sleep only with me, not with her dad. When I pick her up after visiting, she is acting annoyed at me, refusing to talk, refusing to hug or come near me. I am concerned that she is getting lost in the shuffle. there is alot of shouting, and the main adult (their dad) is frequently focusing on other things. Lets hope for the absolute best, that he finds a way to pay close attention to the needs of the kids.
I will close with this.
Jyotsna
Tonight the sunset was pink and purple, Lakshmi and Priya's favorite colors! It was the most brilliant change of colors I have seen, all in bold hot colors. Then right before the sun went below the horizon, the wind streaked the colors, and it was as if god placed a paintbrush in the colors and zigzaged. Wow, right before our eyes we were astonished with the grand show.
Every day we see beautiful things like this. I never new how beautiful a day could be. I feel like part of me was dead, and then we came here and all of me is alive again.
A few days ago, I was at the local grocery store, and saw a magazine about small rooms (interior decorating!). I opened it and there was the most incredible tree house in it, and I want to share the link with you. I plan to build this house (tree house) for the kids and I to retreat to.
To see photo's of this cozy tree house, go to:
www.hearthwoods.com
Check out those bunkbeds and all the wood on the floors, walls and such. My kids are going nuts over this, and frankly so I am.
Perhaps I could build it in a couple of months, with the help of others, and what a fun family vacation home it would be. Of course it would have to have a bathroom and kitchenette in it, which the original doesn't have, since it is in the backyard of the owners home.
AH!!!! Vacation!!
Actually, we have had such a delicious vacation in the last few weeks. I don't know how we got away with it, but I took the kids out of school one week before we moved, and then kept them out for one more week after the move. We got our things settled, and started getting to know the place around us.
The first thing I did was stop at the chiropractor and get started with getting adjustments. I have never had the money to do this before, since I could barely afford to feed the kids and me.
It is costly, but worth it.
Then we visited the school's family center where you can check out books, teaching materials, and more. It has books on behaviour issues and so many sweet books, including one about diversity. I haven't read it, but thought it was neat. This school and it's parent center is very supportive of families. IN a place where families are living at or below the median poverty level, it is wonderful to see such a caring community, where education is first in the lives of all.
Well, we met the Indians living here, all two families!! Our family makes three! Ha ha ha!!! no kidding. The other two families are Gujerati and own motels here. Apparently there are other families in a town about 1 hour from here, so we will be making frequent trips to Little Rock, AR, to keep in association with other Indians.
While I am at it, I had a job interview today! I hope to get some good news about it soon. Wish me luck.
Basically now, we are starting to get used to (that is loosely termed) to the new visiting schedule that the kids have with their dad. Ravi and Lakshmi will have their first weekend with their dad where I am not in Memphis. I go back and forth between worry and sadness. I want my kids with me, but currently, their dad is keeping up with the visit schedule.
He will pick them up on Friday, then drive 1 hour and 45 minutes in the dark to Memphis. Hope he drives safely. HOwever, the kids are telling me that he is driving 80 mph and more on the roads, and they are scared. Me too!
Well, keep us in your thoughts and hope that all will go well with visit. Lakshmi keeps telling me that she wants to be with me everywhere, everyday, all the time, and she wants to sleep only with me, not with her dad. When I pick her up after visiting, she is acting annoyed at me, refusing to talk, refusing to hug or come near me. I am concerned that she is getting lost in the shuffle. there is alot of shouting, and the main adult (their dad) is frequently focusing on other things. Lets hope for the absolute best, that he finds a way to pay close attention to the needs of the kids.
I will close with this.
Jyotsna
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
Trick or Treat!
Halloween is always an adventure at our house, and this year was no different. A week ago, we all (including the kids dad) went to get Halloween costumes. That was an adventure in itself, and I promised myself I am going to be a "mama" cow next year. The costume I saw at Walmart was hilarious, including 4 big milking teats!
Ravi is nine year old, and sadly was really into all the scary costumes, like "scream" ect! Lakshmi was checking out the princess costumes big time, and Priya was a fickle as a pickle! At one point she wanted to be a witch (it was a GREAT costume) then she wanted to be a boy Ninja. Then she wanted to be a clown, then she wanted to be a ghost and then a clown again and I said...CLOWN you will be! PHEW! The kids dad didn't buy a costume for the girls and I felt bad for them, but he is the one who promised! Next year he won't get away with that! The girls will not forgive him!
Well, we did both Trunk or Treat at the kids school, and we did Halloween last night. Trunk or Treat was fun, and I think the costumes were the best because they weren't rushed. Ravi by the way, lost the right to do the whole Halloween thing because he punched the wall several times during a temper tantrum. : (
Here is Lakshmi, as a Princess Fairy (no wings though!!)
And Priya as a Clown....
Trick or Treat!
Halloween is always an adventure at our house, and this year was no different. A week ago, we all (including the kids dad) went to get Halloween costumes. That was an adventure in itself, and I promised myself I am going to be a "mama" cow next year. The costume I saw at Walmart was hilarious, including 4 big milking teats!
Ravi is nine year old, and sadly was really into all the scary costumes, like "scream" ect! Lakshmi was checking out the princess costumes big time, and Priya was a fickle as a pickle! At one point she wanted to be a witch (it was a GREAT costume) then she wanted to be a boy Ninja. Then she wanted to be a clown, then she wanted to be a ghost and then a clown again and I said...CLOWN you will be! PHEW! The kids dad didn't buy a costume for the girls and I felt bad for them, but he is the one who promised! Next year he won't get away with that! The girls will not forgive him!
Well, we did both Trunk or Treat at the kids school, and we did Halloween last night. Trunk or Treat was fun, and I think the costumes were the best because they weren't rushed. Ravi by the way, lost the right to do the whole Halloween thing because he punched the wall several times during a temper tantrum. : (
Here is Lakshmi, as a Princess Fairy (no wings though!!)
And Priya as a Clown....
Thursday, October 27, 2005
I'm Divorced....
Well friends,
Today at 10:10 am, I was pronouced divorced by the judge. I absolutely don't know how to feel. I should be jumping with joy, but I feel the bells tolling for melancholy. As the "simple questions" were answered by my husband in court, his fists were clenched and tears poured from his eyes. I was so mad at him for messing up my life, and for that reason, I wanted it to be over as fast as possible, but I am mourning our marriage, my life partner who's mental illness took such a toll on both of us, and resulted in family violence against the kids and I...it took away my happiness. It took away my life partner. Now, I am left as a divorced mother of three. We have been seperated for almost 4 years, and the physical loss of divorce has already occurred. But the fact that NOTHING I could do to save my marriage and beautiful family, is a horrible thing. I should be partying tonight, but instead, I drove to the school and took the kids out early, drove them home, told them that mommy and daddy were divorced, explained it (how DO you explain divorce???), hugged and kissed my babies, and we all piled into the bed to cuddle and just be. That is actually the place where I feel the happiest, where my kids are by my side.
He will get 100 days of visitation with two of the kids, and one of my daughters will be with me forever...meaning I have sole custody forever. She will not have to visit with him, unless she wants to or I think it is a good idea. Since her adoption was not final, I will be adopting her in the coming weeks as a single person. I wish I could have saved the other two. I pray he is good to them when they are visiting. However, if he isn't, I will take him back to the court.
Jyotsna
Sunday, October 23, 2005
Halloween Cat Eyes
Ravi took a picture of me and thought my eyes looked like cat eyes, so to freak him out, I cropped the picture and showed him this! It does look a bit animalistic!
The original photo shows me wearing vampire fangs for my costume. I can move my eyes seperately, and did that for this photo, which makes it look even more animalistic!
Halloween photos of the kids are coming soon! Their dad is responsible for painting their faces. Lakshmi is going to be a fairy princess, complete with play shoes, a crown and wand. Sadly, she doesn't have any wings. But she still is saying she is a "fairy" princess! : ) Priya will be a clown, complete with a clown wig, clown make up and that is it! Ravi is going to be some kind of freaky scary thing, with a costume and face paint.
I can't wait to see what they will all look like. With no costumes, it will be a shock to the kids, but hopefully their faces make up for it.
If I were handling costumes this year, they would all have full costumes. Dads do it different for sure! I wonder if Lakshmi and Priya are going to feel a little cheated when they realize Ravi got a full costume and all they have is face paint and very simply accesories.
I have a long sleeved black shirt, and a black skirt, and I will be a vampire. Last year, the girls and I were kitty cats, and Ravi was a knight.
What will your child be for Halloween, and do you celebrate?
Jyotsna
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
And, the verdict is:
Mediation went very well!
It took nearly 9 1/2 hours to make all the decisions, but we did it. The divorce will get it's stamp on next Wednesday.
Chandra was in tears, and it was very sad, but I think he will be okay eventually. He will have time with the kids every other weekend, and some in the summer. If it goes well, no problem. If he treats the kid badly, we will be back in court to have his rights terminated.
And Priya will stay with me.
I don't get as much of the money from the house as I should have gotten, but that is over too. I signed the deed of trust today for his loan, but not the loan. I will do a quick claim deed next week, and tada, that will be it!
The kids and I will move on November 5th, and that will be a large adjustment period, but i think it will be okay.
YEA!
Jyotsna
It took nearly 9 1/2 hours to make all the decisions, but we did it. The divorce will get it's stamp on next Wednesday.
Chandra was in tears, and it was very sad, but I think he will be okay eventually. He will have time with the kids every other weekend, and some in the summer. If it goes well, no problem. If he treats the kid badly, we will be back in court to have his rights terminated.
And Priya will stay with me.
I don't get as much of the money from the house as I should have gotten, but that is over too. I signed the deed of trust today for his loan, but not the loan. I will do a quick claim deed next week, and tada, that will be it!
The kids and I will move on November 5th, and that will be a large adjustment period, but i think it will be okay.
YEA!
Jyotsna
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
Pumpkin Patch Fun
Sunday, October 09, 2005
What a cutie!
Check out this cute little girl! She looks so much like Ravi and Priya! You never know. There may be a little brother or sister from their birthmother. She looks so much like my kids it is haunting!
Jyotsna
Jyotsna
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
Adopting another child
Okay, yes, I fess up! I would love ONE MORE BABY! I am not ready yet, of course! I pray that the process of the divorce goes fast, and I am able to begin to settle down. Once my life settles down, I predict that I will try to adopt again in 2 years or so.
I would love to adopt from India again, but would have to adopt a toddler, and I have done that twice, and really want an infant. Attachment disorder is real, and while I love my RAD kids, I wouldn't wish that on any family. When a child is abused or neglected, he or she can't function in the family normally. They need lots of help to be in a family, and that is taxing, especially when they are toddlers.
I thought that perhaps I would explore some countries that mostly bring home young infants. Guatamala is one country, Korea is another that I would be interested in. A child from Guatamala would fit into our family more, although I would have to work hard to bring that child's culture into our family. I know families where all of their children are from different countries. They handle it. Surely I can handle one more culture!
Most of the Guatamalan and Korean babies come home between 4 and 9 months. That is still young enough to impact the babies attachment and have a positive experience. Lakshmi was home right at 3 months, and she is fine.
So for more information about Guatamalan and Korean adoptions, and to get an idea of what the child would look like (depending of what child I would adopt) check out these sources:
http://www.rainbowkids.com/
http://international.adoption.com/
www.precious.org
www.adoptkorea.com
www.dillonadopt.com
And who knows, maybe you have wanted to adopt a child too, and now is your chance to check it out!
Jyotsna
I would love to adopt from India again, but would have to adopt a toddler, and I have done that twice, and really want an infant. Attachment disorder is real, and while I love my RAD kids, I wouldn't wish that on any family. When a child is abused or neglected, he or she can't function in the family normally. They need lots of help to be in a family, and that is taxing, especially when they are toddlers.
I thought that perhaps I would explore some countries that mostly bring home young infants. Guatamala is one country, Korea is another that I would be interested in. A child from Guatamala would fit into our family more, although I would have to work hard to bring that child's culture into our family. I know families where all of their children are from different countries. They handle it. Surely I can handle one more culture!
Most of the Guatamalan and Korean babies come home between 4 and 9 months. That is still young enough to impact the babies attachment and have a positive experience. Lakshmi was home right at 3 months, and she is fine.
So for more information about Guatamalan and Korean adoptions, and to get an idea of what the child would look like (depending of what child I would adopt) check out these sources:
http://www.rainbowkids.com/
http://international.adoption.com/
www.precious.org
www.adoptkorea.com
www.dillonadopt.com
And who knows, maybe you have wanted to adopt a child too, and now is your chance to check it out!
Jyotsna
Thursday, September 29, 2005
Lakshmi's Reading and a Child's Trust
Lakshmi has been reading for about a week and a half. Both Lakshmi and Priya have been ready all summer to actually read,
but each child has their own learning clock. I wasn't surprised that Lakshmi started reading after Priya, but it isn't a big deal.
The teacher thinks she is doing great. If my girls didn't read until age 8, I wouldn't be concerned.
It is amazing to see someone who I have nurtured since she was a tiny baby, grow and mature in front of my eyes.
Lakshmi can still cuddle like she used to, and in fact insist on it every night. Sometimes her head at my tummy,
or her feet. She is always very gentle when she cuddles, and looks at me with such trust.
Priya is amazing too. She didn't have the benefit of sleeping in my arms or cuddling up in my mama cocoon (between my chin and tummy) like Lakshmi did. Lakshmi slept with me every night, nursing through the night, always one hand or foot on me somewhere, always connected. Priya slept in a metal orphanage cradle, then crib from the time she was 2 days old, until she was 14 months old. Every child was in the crib at 9pm, with their bottles, and the lights were put out. How lonely that must have been to sleep like that every day. Yet, that was all she knew. When she came to live with us, the crib was her security.
She had never built trust with an adult. She was terrified of sleeping with me. If I made her do it, she would shiver and whimper. I couldn't take that, and let her go back to her crib, but it haunted me until she began making a connection with me.
If someone hits and neglects you all day, why would you want to be out of the crib. Even though she was home and safe with me, she didn't know how to trust.
After a year, she started to climb in my bed, but then would want back in her crib. Since her crib was next to my bed, she could come and go. In the summer, she finally released her crib. We had a ceremony, and said goodbye to the crib, and she handed me the tools as I took it apart to move it into another room. She slept on a toddler bed for a long time. Then she transitioned into a twin sized bed. Now adays, she snuggles with me. I try to find special times where we cuddle and talk on my bed. Sometimes she even sleeps through the entire night, and now she wants me during thunder storms.
She still needs some help with trust issues, but much of a child's happiness has to do with the trust she instills in her mother.
Jyotsna
but each child has their own learning clock. I wasn't surprised that Lakshmi started reading after Priya, but it isn't a big deal.
The teacher thinks she is doing great. If my girls didn't read until age 8, I wouldn't be concerned.
It is amazing to see someone who I have nurtured since she was a tiny baby, grow and mature in front of my eyes.
Lakshmi can still cuddle like she used to, and in fact insist on it every night. Sometimes her head at my tummy,
or her feet. She is always very gentle when she cuddles, and looks at me with such trust.
Priya is amazing too. She didn't have the benefit of sleeping in my arms or cuddling up in my mama cocoon (between my chin and tummy) like Lakshmi did. Lakshmi slept with me every night, nursing through the night, always one hand or foot on me somewhere, always connected. Priya slept in a metal orphanage cradle, then crib from the time she was 2 days old, until she was 14 months old. Every child was in the crib at 9pm, with their bottles, and the lights were put out. How lonely that must have been to sleep like that every day. Yet, that was all she knew. When she came to live with us, the crib was her security.
She had never built trust with an adult. She was terrified of sleeping with me. If I made her do it, she would shiver and whimper. I couldn't take that, and let her go back to her crib, but it haunted me until she began making a connection with me.
If someone hits and neglects you all day, why would you want to be out of the crib. Even though she was home and safe with me, she didn't know how to trust.
After a year, she started to climb in my bed, but then would want back in her crib. Since her crib was next to my bed, she could come and go. In the summer, she finally released her crib. We had a ceremony, and said goodbye to the crib, and she handed me the tools as I took it apart to move it into another room. She slept on a toddler bed for a long time. Then she transitioned into a twin sized bed. Now adays, she snuggles with me. I try to find special times where we cuddle and talk on my bed. Sometimes she even sleeps through the entire night, and now she wants me during thunder storms.
She still needs some help with trust issues, but much of a child's happiness has to do with the trust she instills in her mother.
Jyotsna
At the End of the Marriage
Sometimes I write poems to clear difficult emotions
from my heart. This poem just popped out a couple
of days ago. I don't take poety "as is". There is the
part that has reality, and the part that is fiction, and
of course part of it is some where in between!
At the End of the Marriage
You said you would love me till "Death Do UsPart",
from my heart. This poem just popped out a couple
of days ago. I don't take poety "as is". There is the
part that has reality, and the part that is fiction, and
of course part of it is some where in between!
At the End of the Marriage
You said you would love me till "Death Do UsPart",
but instead you have broken and crumbled my heart.
I would have known better, had I known yourplan well,
how you you chose to deceive meand drink dry my well.
But instead of leaving, I lingered a while,
and gave life to you, like the River Nile.
I take my responsibility for all that Idid,
but not when you lowered yourself
and hurt our beautiful kids.
The Mother in me hates the Father in you,
couldn't you have moved back a step or two?
At the end of the marriage, I do not lookback.
We are happier and safer, from you,that's a fact!
May we stay a safe distance, mine and your heart.
May my heart be uncrumbled, till death do us part.
Jyotsna
Adding a New Child to the Family
No! Not me!! LOL!
This is a response to D, who is mom to 2 children and just
posted about "The Second Child" on her yahoogroup.
I'm an adoptive mom. I went through a 4 month "adoptive-pregnancy", as adoptive parents refer to it!
I went straight into having my first child Ravi, be a toddler! It was wonderful. I loved spending time playing with him, and while he was napping, I either napped with him, or wrote poems about him or journaled about him and my life with him. Then there were the three of us in the evenings, reading together, both of us giving the bath, both of us kissing and rocking him to sleep. It was such a magical time since we had tried to get pregnant since the first year of our marriage.
That magical time led to us wanting MORE of it. Specifically, we wanted a newborn girl.
We felt like we had really missed that special time with Ravi, and wanted to know what the mystery of it was! From the minute we were waiting, we experienced the magic of it all. What would she be like, how old would she be when we got her, and most importantly, would she be healthy.
I panicked when the adoption agency said it was time to go and get her. The thought of putting Ravi second, made my stomach turn. He was so excited about his baby sister, and I knew this was not reality. At the last minute, I decided we just didn't need another child! My sister (who has no children and wanted them desperately) stopped me from calling the adoption agency, and forced me on the plane. Ravi cried "NO, Don't Go!" so loudly that I could feel his sadness all the way to India. I felt I was doing the worst thing, to leave him like that, and bring in another person, who would need almost all of my attention for up to 6 months.
The first week we were home, I took the kids to the grocery, and Ravi tried to sell Lakshmi to someone. His comments were very specifically, "Please, TAKE HER!!!". Well, it was comical, but it represented the transition our family was now going through. Lakshmi was stuck to me night and day, every new thing she did, I would say, "Yea!!" and snap a photo.
The guilt I felt, was enormous! On one hand, I felt like Ravi was my favorite child. On the other hand, I loved cuddling up with my new, fresh smelling baby, who did no wrong.
What I really wanted was for Lakshmi to have that time alone with me, that Ravi had with me. And the conflicting thought was that I wanted Ravi to be the only child. I was torn inside, but fortunately over the first few weeks, my emotions began to equalize.
This is about the second child, but I have three children, and I never thought it would be an adjustment as much as the second child...and that is what I had heard!
We got the news about Priya right after I arrived home with Lakshmi. The girls are the same age, but from two different parts of India. I eagerly awaited Priya's arrival. I thought our family would be perfect when we finally got to India to get her. Instead, the conflict was between Lakshmi and Priya. Lakshmi cried all day and night at first. She stopped nursing. (she started again when we got home) She refused to be comforted by me. Broke my heart. She was only 13 months old when we got Priya, and she couldn't understand why mommy was hugging, loving, caring and playing with Priya. It took us about one year to finally find our bearings. It was a painful year. I thought I would never want another child. I thought we had made a terrible mistake. I had a hard time loving Priya because she was grabbing toys, pushing, biting and hitting Lakshmi. In Priya's orphanage, the way you got something was to hurt someone. It seemed like a war zone.
Adding more kids, always brings up the issue of if a mom has enough to pass around. I am amazed at my friends who have 10 and 12 children. Things seem to move so smoothly. I guess new children learn very quickly that love comes not only from mom and dad, but from older brothers and sisters. Still, I am sure that large families went through their growing pains.
These days, my children are friends, sometimes partners in crime, and they keep each other busy. No matter how old they are, or how they help each other, I still feel that guilty feeling creeping up. There is never enough time for Lakshmi to get the attention that Ravi got, and Priya got even less. Through all the growing pains I have experienced with my family, I have learned that I am incredibly strong and resilient. So are my kids.
Jyotsna
This is a response to D, who is mom to 2 children and just
posted about "The Second Child" on her yahoogroup.
I'm an adoptive mom. I went through a 4 month "adoptive-pregnancy", as adoptive parents refer to it!
I went straight into having my first child Ravi, be a toddler! It was wonderful. I loved spending time playing with him, and while he was napping, I either napped with him, or wrote poems about him or journaled about him and my life with him. Then there were the three of us in the evenings, reading together, both of us giving the bath, both of us kissing and rocking him to sleep. It was such a magical time since we had tried to get pregnant since the first year of our marriage.
That magical time led to us wanting MORE of it. Specifically, we wanted a newborn girl.
We felt like we had really missed that special time with Ravi, and wanted to know what the mystery of it was! From the minute we were waiting, we experienced the magic of it all. What would she be like, how old would she be when we got her, and most importantly, would she be healthy.
I panicked when the adoption agency said it was time to go and get her. The thought of putting Ravi second, made my stomach turn. He was so excited about his baby sister, and I knew this was not reality. At the last minute, I decided we just didn't need another child! My sister (who has no children and wanted them desperately) stopped me from calling the adoption agency, and forced me on the plane. Ravi cried "NO, Don't Go!" so loudly that I could feel his sadness all the way to India. I felt I was doing the worst thing, to leave him like that, and bring in another person, who would need almost all of my attention for up to 6 months.
The first week we were home, I took the kids to the grocery, and Ravi tried to sell Lakshmi to someone. His comments were very specifically, "Please, TAKE HER!!!". Well, it was comical, but it represented the transition our family was now going through. Lakshmi was stuck to me night and day, every new thing she did, I would say, "Yea!!" and snap a photo.
The guilt I felt, was enormous! On one hand, I felt like Ravi was my favorite child. On the other hand, I loved cuddling up with my new, fresh smelling baby, who did no wrong.
What I really wanted was for Lakshmi to have that time alone with me, that Ravi had with me. And the conflicting thought was that I wanted Ravi to be the only child. I was torn inside, but fortunately over the first few weeks, my emotions began to equalize.
This is about the second child, but I have three children, and I never thought it would be an adjustment as much as the second child...and that is what I had heard!
We got the news about Priya right after I arrived home with Lakshmi. The girls are the same age, but from two different parts of India. I eagerly awaited Priya's arrival. I thought our family would be perfect when we finally got to India to get her. Instead, the conflict was between Lakshmi and Priya. Lakshmi cried all day and night at first. She stopped nursing. (she started again when we got home) She refused to be comforted by me. Broke my heart. She was only 13 months old when we got Priya, and she couldn't understand why mommy was hugging, loving, caring and playing with Priya. It took us about one year to finally find our bearings. It was a painful year. I thought I would never want another child. I thought we had made a terrible mistake. I had a hard time loving Priya because she was grabbing toys, pushing, biting and hitting Lakshmi. In Priya's orphanage, the way you got something was to hurt someone. It seemed like a war zone.
Adding more kids, always brings up the issue of if a mom has enough to pass around. I am amazed at my friends who have 10 and 12 children. Things seem to move so smoothly. I guess new children learn very quickly that love comes not only from mom and dad, but from older brothers and sisters. Still, I am sure that large families went through their growing pains.
These days, my children are friends, sometimes partners in crime, and they keep each other busy. No matter how old they are, or how they help each other, I still feel that guilty feeling creeping up. There is never enough time for Lakshmi to get the attention that Ravi got, and Priya got even less. Through all the growing pains I have experienced with my family, I have learned that I am incredibly strong and resilient. So are my kids.
Jyotsna
Mediation in 17 Days
Well, the divorce process is moving along right now. We will meet for mediation in about 17 days. I hope and pray it goes very well. He is vascilating between hating me and never wanting to see me again, to calling me on the phone and telling me that he L - O - V - E - S me. I think there is definately something wrong with him. If mediation doesn't go well, I will insist on the psychological evalulation. This will bring out all of his strange behaviours; ego-centric self, OCD type issues, out of control and vascilating emotions.
To think that it is possible that our attorneys could file the paperwork for final divorce in 18 days, makes me very happy, and sad, at the same time. Happy because I can see the light at the end of this 3 3/4 years tunnel, and sad because I loved him before he started hurting the children.
Well, wish me well as I prepare for the mediation process.
Jyotsna
To think that it is possible that our attorneys could file the paperwork for final divorce in 18 days, makes me very happy, and sad, at the same time. Happy because I can see the light at the end of this 3 3/4 years tunnel, and sad because I loved him before he started hurting the children.
Well, wish me well as I prepare for the mediation process.
Jyotsna
Friday, September 16, 2005
My Birthday (9/11)
Well, my birthday was this past Sunday. I was born on the infamous September 11th. Not going to tell you what year!! Last year I reached a critical age, and felt so depressed, unhappy to be that age. I also remember that 9/11/01 was when our family began to fall apart, and that was very depressing for me.
(Long story short, we were coming home from India 9/11/01 when our country shut down the airports. We couldn't come home for 5 days, and we were in Hong Kong in a hotel. After getting home, the kids dad started abusing the kids, and our marriage crumbled).
This year has been very different. I feel good about my age, I feel good because I am almost divorced, something that has been taking so long, and I have the hope of a new career in the near future.
Anyway, the kids had been talking about what they would get me, but we didn't have money for them to shop. So I asked them to draw pictures of what they wanted to get me. I got alot of "flowers"!
My parents invited us for a wonderful picnic in the park. My parents brought a table cloth, fresh flowers, a cd player and the whole picnic complete with a birthday cake (Italian Creme!! UMM!), icecream, popsicles, sandwiches, chips and tons of drinks. It was an incredible spread, and I was the person of honor!
I of course, brought my knitting with me!! I worked on a soaker. The kids ran all over the place, watched the ducks in the lake, found a bird egg (big bird) under the slide in the play area, and watched several people fishing.
Since it was my birthday, my brother took me on a motercycle ride. Oh dear mother of God! What was I thinking?? First I had to wear a helmet, and the one he had for passengers was TOO SMALL. He insisted that it would fit me, and I TRIED to get it on, but my temples were squeezed between the sides of the helmet and I was developing closterphobia (sp?). My senses came to me and I pulled the damn thing off. My dad got it on his head!! I have a gigantic cerebral nub!!! Dad took off on a very slow drive around the park. At times we could swear he was going backwards. When he got back, I tried on my brothers helmet. It fit! So, with my long sleeveless dress, I raised it up and climbed onto the cycle. My brother took off and OH MY GOD, he was on a death tour of the park. I started screaming "STOP, PLEASE STOP!" but I had the sheild over the helmet, and my brother couldn't hear me (or at least he said he couldn't). Every turn, every bump, he went faster and faster. At one point he screamed, lean with the bike. I could see that my knees were about to touch the ground and I wrapped my arms under his arms and back up over his shoulders. I was screaming even louder, "Please STOP, Please STOP NOW". My brother continued going faster, with his ears deaf to my screams. Finally we came to the place where this nightmare started, and he began to excelerate again. I literally jumped of the motercycle while he was moving!
I think I flashed somebody as my dress was hiked up to my thighs! That is the last time I will ever ride a motercycle. Dadblasted brother is going to get it. I am planning my revenge!
Well, about that time I was ready to leave. Everyone wanted to have cake. CAKE! Good lord, I couldn't eat after that.
Well, they started eating, first the cake, then the icecream, then the popsicles before they were all down. The sun was hiding until they started eating all this stuff. Suddenly they were swimming in flies and melted stuff. If I had enough gas, I would have gotten into the van and run the a/c.
Well, it wasn't THAT bad. I did get a very nice journal, and a skein of recycled silk yarn. And my parents are getting a new hot water heater installed for me! Oh, and I got the flowers! : )
Jyotsna
Birthday Flowers
(Long story short, we were coming home from India 9/11/01 when our country shut down the airports. We couldn't come home for 5 days, and we were in Hong Kong in a hotel. After getting home, the kids dad started abusing the kids, and our marriage crumbled).
This year has been very different. I feel good about my age, I feel good because I am almost divorced, something that has been taking so long, and I have the hope of a new career in the near future.
Anyway, the kids had been talking about what they would get me, but we didn't have money for them to shop. So I asked them to draw pictures of what they wanted to get me. I got alot of "flowers"!
My parents invited us for a wonderful picnic in the park. My parents brought a table cloth, fresh flowers, a cd player and the whole picnic complete with a birthday cake (Italian Creme!! UMM!), icecream, popsicles, sandwiches, chips and tons of drinks. It was an incredible spread, and I was the person of honor!
I of course, brought my knitting with me!! I worked on a soaker. The kids ran all over the place, watched the ducks in the lake, found a bird egg (big bird) under the slide in the play area, and watched several people fishing.
Since it was my birthday, my brother took me on a motercycle ride. Oh dear mother of God! What was I thinking?? First I had to wear a helmet, and the one he had for passengers was TOO SMALL. He insisted that it would fit me, and I TRIED to get it on, but my temples were squeezed between the sides of the helmet and I was developing closterphobia (sp?). My senses came to me and I pulled the damn thing off. My dad got it on his head!! I have a gigantic cerebral nub!!! Dad took off on a very slow drive around the park. At times we could swear he was going backwards. When he got back, I tried on my brothers helmet. It fit! So, with my long sleeveless dress, I raised it up and climbed onto the cycle. My brother took off and OH MY GOD, he was on a death tour of the park. I started screaming "STOP, PLEASE STOP!" but I had the sheild over the helmet, and my brother couldn't hear me (or at least he said he couldn't). Every turn, every bump, he went faster and faster. At one point he screamed, lean with the bike. I could see that my knees were about to touch the ground and I wrapped my arms under his arms and back up over his shoulders. I was screaming even louder, "Please STOP, Please STOP NOW". My brother continued going faster, with his ears deaf to my screams. Finally we came to the place where this nightmare started, and he began to excelerate again. I literally jumped of the motercycle while he was moving!
I think I flashed somebody as my dress was hiked up to my thighs! That is the last time I will ever ride a motercycle. Dadblasted brother is going to get it. I am planning my revenge!
Well, about that time I was ready to leave. Everyone wanted to have cake. CAKE! Good lord, I couldn't eat after that.
Well, they started eating, first the cake, then the icecream, then the popsicles before they were all down. The sun was hiding until they started eating all this stuff. Suddenly they were swimming in flies and melted stuff. If I had enough gas, I would have gotten into the van and run the a/c.
Well, it wasn't THAT bad. I did get a very nice journal, and a skein of recycled silk yarn. And my parents are getting a new hot water heater installed for me! Oh, and I got the flowers! : )
Jyotsna
Birthday Flowers
Sunday, September 11, 2005
Saturday, September 10, 2005
A possible job at the school! And Priya's really reading!
All three of my children spend their days at our local public school.
It is a school chosen due to our zip code, but also a great school in many ways.
I handed in my resume at the school to be considered for one of three jobs.
As I was waiting in the halls after school, I ran into Ravi's last year teacher.
She has TWO autistic children in her class room, and she is looking for a
full time person to assist these two kids in a typical classroom.
She wants me to take the job, and so we will just wait and see if I get it.
I was a part-time volunteer in her classroom last year, in order to see how
Ravi was doing. She apparently liked me alot, and felt my work was good.
I really enjoyed working in her room, and if I get this job, I will find myself
being very challenged. I haven't worked with autistic children before,
except for one little boy last year in her class. But is was on a purely
volunteer basis. I am thrilled that I may be working at the school.
The other two jobs that are available are both the same. The school
needs two employees to work as education resource assistants.
Both jobs would require the employee to work part time (4 hours) and
do basic assistance to a few teachers. I have been doing this voluntary
both last year and this year, and it requires the employee to grade tests,
file paperwork in the class room, prepare homework folders, tear out
print outs and assemble and organize these for classes, and many other things.
I know I can do that. Tonight I have been researching autistic children,
and I plan to get in touch with a local group to learn more about the children.
I really hope I get this job. I need to be working until I move!
Of course the plus will be seeing my children throughout the day.
Priya's Reading!!
Priya has been reading a few words here and there this summer, and reading along
with the Quantum Pad books this summer too. I felt that she was on the edge of reading
all summer, but I didn't want to just push her into reading. She has taught herself completely!
With Ravi, I was so thrilled he was showing readiness signs of reading, that I kept trying to get
him to read. He did and then due to my pushing, he stopped! Priya on the other hand is so
excited about reading that she took it on her own self to learn.
Currently she is reading the Dick and Jane anthology. She keeps pushing heself every day.
I got this picture of Priya reading in the hallway at home; a place where she reads after school!
Priya Reading
I will post it shortly!
It is a school chosen due to our zip code, but also a great school in many ways.
I handed in my resume at the school to be considered for one of three jobs.
As I was waiting in the halls after school, I ran into Ravi's last year teacher.
She has TWO autistic children in her class room, and she is looking for a
full time person to assist these two kids in a typical classroom.
She wants me to take the job, and so we will just wait and see if I get it.
I was a part-time volunteer in her classroom last year, in order to see how
Ravi was doing. She apparently liked me alot, and felt my work was good.
I really enjoyed working in her room, and if I get this job, I will find myself
being very challenged. I haven't worked with autistic children before,
except for one little boy last year in her class. But is was on a purely
volunteer basis. I am thrilled that I may be working at the school.
The other two jobs that are available are both the same. The school
needs two employees to work as education resource assistants.
Both jobs would require the employee to work part time (4 hours) and
do basic assistance to a few teachers. I have been doing this voluntary
both last year and this year, and it requires the employee to grade tests,
file paperwork in the class room, prepare homework folders, tear out
print outs and assemble and organize these for classes, and many other things.
I know I can do that. Tonight I have been researching autistic children,
and I plan to get in touch with a local group to learn more about the children.
I really hope I get this job. I need to be working until I move!
Of course the plus will be seeing my children throughout the day.
Priya's Reading!!
Priya has been reading a few words here and there this summer, and reading along
with the Quantum Pad books this summer too. I felt that she was on the edge of reading
all summer, but I didn't want to just push her into reading. She has taught herself completely!
With Ravi, I was so thrilled he was showing readiness signs of reading, that I kept trying to get
him to read. He did and then due to my pushing, he stopped! Priya on the other hand is so
excited about reading that she took it on her own self to learn.
Currently she is reading the Dick and Jane anthology. She keeps pushing heself every day.
I got this picture of Priya reading in the hallway at home; a place where she reads after school!
Priya Reading
I will post it shortly!
Friday, September 09, 2005
The Nanny (long)
All week long, I monitor the kids behaviour, just to see who gets to stay up for ONE hour after bedtime for some one on one time with me, on Friday night. First week, Lakshmi won hands down. She did all her homework without complaining, and she has a great attitude most of the time. Ravi and Priya were very upset about it, and were sad when they went to bed.
Second week, Lakshmi won again, but only because Priya had a major fit, which took 4 hours out of our after school time, and took time away from Ravi and Lakshmi.
Third week, Priya won. We had our one on one time tonight. Priya won because she did her homework without getting annoyed, and she had perfect behaviour this week. She has never had perfect behaviour before! I don't know if this is just a one time thing, or if we are finally getting somewhere with her behaviour, but it was wonderful!
We already had a very nice Friday evening. We watched a great movie, and had Spinach Dal and Rice with tomato pickle. After Ravi and Lakshmi went to bed, Priya and I played games. Oh my, Hi Ho Cherios, Dora the Explorer Parque de Diversiones, and Let's Go Fish'n.
I feel so happy to give each child some one on one time, but with three kids, and one me, it is hard to get it in. Priya was so happy to spend time with me without the other kids. I know she was very happy also because she behaved so well this week.
What got this whole thing started? Ravi has attachment disorder, and no matter what, Ravi hasn't been able to behave over the years. He loves to compete, and so I thought we would make up a game called "Survivor" ...like the show, only all the kids have to do is complete their homework without griping, and get ready at night and mornings, brush teeth, and keep a great attitude about life in general. The first week Ravi and Priya did terrible. They didn't think this would work, and so they didn't bother. But then when Lakshmi won, cause she behaved so well, they were quite annoyed. They really WANT THIS EXTRA TIME WITH ME! I figure once every one is with the plan, that each child will end up getting the same amount of time with me.
Ravi, sadly, had such a horrible two days this past week after school, that he was punching the walls, screaming, stomping, kicking, and more. It all starts with a small thing. Nothing major. I used to let Ravi get away with some small infractions like stomping, or shouting. Now after watching "The Nanny", I realized that we could be a family on that show! I have frankly hated the show, but I slowly warmed up, because I wanted Ravi to see it. I have gotten some nice tips on the show, but mostly the show is violent. After the most recent show we watched, I asked the kids to tell me what was happening, and share how they would have made it better. Turns out the kids realized how awful they were behaving, and agreed it would be nice if we have a quieter, more happy family.
I have challenged Ravi on EVERY SINGLE negative behaviour this week, and I turned things upside down in our house. I used strong sitting (facing wall in sitting position, with knees touching) with Ravi this week. For each negative temper tantrum he displayed, I asked him to do strong sitting. He didn't do it at first. He screamed, kicked and hit the walls. I continued to hold him when he was acting violent, and when he was sitting still and doing it, I would leave him to his "work". Strong sitting should last from 15 to 30 minutes. Ravi couldn't even get to strong sitting until 30 minutes of tantruming had occurred. He is getting better now.
When he would start to scream, or be violent, I would simply make him start his strong sitting over again. He finally got the idea that this could last forever. The very fact that I was sitting with him, and backing up positive behaviour, and "asking" him WHY he was feeling angry, made him feel better. Who every told me to ignore negative behavior was wrong!
Ravi felt very sad tonight that he wasn't going to get special time with me. I asked him to explain to me WHY he wasn't getting special time, and he was able to tell me the WHY'S for the first time ever! I hope and pray that this continues to help him.
Attachment disorder is one of the worst behaviour conditions that a child can develop. As most of my readers know, my children are adopted. The very first break with the birthmother is very hard on babies. Most people wonder why it would even matter to a new born baby. But a baby has spent 9 months listening to his mother breathe, sing, talk, laugh, and this is "inprinted" on the child's brain.
More than likely Ravi had a difficult time with the first break in attachment, and just being in an orphanage left him vulnerable to being neglected, and even abused.
When I got Ravi, I was SO HAPPY! It was the most important moment in my life. He was 11 months old when I arrived in India, and we connected right away. However when we arrived home, and we introduced Ravi's dad, he became very mixed up. I nursed Ravi, but also let him have a bottle to hold in his crib, if I was tired. That was wrong on my part. I didn't cause his attachment disorder, but not understanding it, was a problem too.
Ravi has come a long way. 3 years ago, he was very angry. He demonstrated no other emotions. He even hurt my mom. He was an F student and had terrible behaviours at school. But alot of attention, (me taking him out of school and homeschooling him againg) some help from professionals and my determination that Ravi was not going to become a statistic, made a huge difference in his life. Now, he is waiting for specific help from the attachment therapist in the state where we plan to move. I think this will be the make it or break it difference in Ravi's life now.
This has been my personal and private hell for several years. I have lived under stress that no mom would like to live under. But my love for Ravi is so strong that I could not turn my back on my child even when he hurt my mom and was hurting Lakshmi and Priya. I chose to seperate Ravi from the girls and protect the girls that way.
Well, if this behaviour modification doesn't work, I WILL call The Nanny!
Jyotsna
Second week, Lakshmi won again, but only because Priya had a major fit, which took 4 hours out of our after school time, and took time away from Ravi and Lakshmi.
Third week, Priya won. We had our one on one time tonight. Priya won because she did her homework without getting annoyed, and she had perfect behaviour this week. She has never had perfect behaviour before! I don't know if this is just a one time thing, or if we are finally getting somewhere with her behaviour, but it was wonderful!
We already had a very nice Friday evening. We watched a great movie, and had Spinach Dal and Rice with tomato pickle. After Ravi and Lakshmi went to bed, Priya and I played games. Oh my, Hi Ho Cherios, Dora the Explorer Parque de Diversiones, and Let's Go Fish'n.
I feel so happy to give each child some one on one time, but with three kids, and one me, it is hard to get it in. Priya was so happy to spend time with me without the other kids. I know she was very happy also because she behaved so well this week.
What got this whole thing started? Ravi has attachment disorder, and no matter what, Ravi hasn't been able to behave over the years. He loves to compete, and so I thought we would make up a game called "Survivor" ...like the show, only all the kids have to do is complete their homework without griping, and get ready at night and mornings, brush teeth, and keep a great attitude about life in general. The first week Ravi and Priya did terrible. They didn't think this would work, and so they didn't bother. But then when Lakshmi won, cause she behaved so well, they were quite annoyed. They really WANT THIS EXTRA TIME WITH ME! I figure once every one is with the plan, that each child will end up getting the same amount of time with me.
Ravi, sadly, had such a horrible two days this past week after school, that he was punching the walls, screaming, stomping, kicking, and more. It all starts with a small thing. Nothing major. I used to let Ravi get away with some small infractions like stomping, or shouting. Now after watching "The Nanny", I realized that we could be a family on that show! I have frankly hated the show, but I slowly warmed up, because I wanted Ravi to see it. I have gotten some nice tips on the show, but mostly the show is violent. After the most recent show we watched, I asked the kids to tell me what was happening, and share how they would have made it better. Turns out the kids realized how awful they were behaving, and agreed it would be nice if we have a quieter, more happy family.
I have challenged Ravi on EVERY SINGLE negative behaviour this week, and I turned things upside down in our house. I used strong sitting (facing wall in sitting position, with knees touching) with Ravi this week. For each negative temper tantrum he displayed, I asked him to do strong sitting. He didn't do it at first. He screamed, kicked and hit the walls. I continued to hold him when he was acting violent, and when he was sitting still and doing it, I would leave him to his "work". Strong sitting should last from 15 to 30 minutes. Ravi couldn't even get to strong sitting until 30 minutes of tantruming had occurred. He is getting better now.
When he would start to scream, or be violent, I would simply make him start his strong sitting over again. He finally got the idea that this could last forever. The very fact that I was sitting with him, and backing up positive behaviour, and "asking" him WHY he was feeling angry, made him feel better. Who every told me to ignore negative behavior was wrong!
Ravi felt very sad tonight that he wasn't going to get special time with me. I asked him to explain to me WHY he wasn't getting special time, and he was able to tell me the WHY'S for the first time ever! I hope and pray that this continues to help him.
Attachment disorder is one of the worst behaviour conditions that a child can develop. As most of my readers know, my children are adopted. The very first break with the birthmother is very hard on babies. Most people wonder why it would even matter to a new born baby. But a baby has spent 9 months listening to his mother breathe, sing, talk, laugh, and this is "inprinted" on the child's brain.
More than likely Ravi had a difficult time with the first break in attachment, and just being in an orphanage left him vulnerable to being neglected, and even abused.
When I got Ravi, I was SO HAPPY! It was the most important moment in my life. He was 11 months old when I arrived in India, and we connected right away. However when we arrived home, and we introduced Ravi's dad, he became very mixed up. I nursed Ravi, but also let him have a bottle to hold in his crib, if I was tired. That was wrong on my part. I didn't cause his attachment disorder, but not understanding it, was a problem too.
Ravi has come a long way. 3 years ago, he was very angry. He demonstrated no other emotions. He even hurt my mom. He was an F student and had terrible behaviours at school. But alot of attention, (me taking him out of school and homeschooling him againg) some help from professionals and my determination that Ravi was not going to become a statistic, made a huge difference in his life. Now, he is waiting for specific help from the attachment therapist in the state where we plan to move. I think this will be the make it or break it difference in Ravi's life now.
This has been my personal and private hell for several years. I have lived under stress that no mom would like to live under. But my love for Ravi is so strong that I could not turn my back on my child even when he hurt my mom and was hurting Lakshmi and Priya. I chose to seperate Ravi from the girls and protect the girls that way.
Well, if this behaviour modification doesn't work, I WILL call The Nanny!
Jyotsna
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
Newborn Wool Soaker and Hat Set
I am almost finished on a new wool soaker *Apple Greens* and hat set. Check out a photo of the almost completed soaker and matching hat.
I also have an auction for *Fire*, a colorful infant hat.
Here's the matching hat
Jyotsna
Clearing House for Hurricane Victims
If you are considering helping a family by hosting them in your home, please go to the clearing house for Katrina victims. This organization can help you link to a family to host, and also do criminal history records check.
Jyotsna
Jyotsna
Sunday, September 04, 2005
Hosting a Katrina Victim, what should you do?
So many families around the country are now hosting or are planning to host a Katrina victim, and we all have questions.
1. How will this affect my children?
2. Will I have enough income to support our family and our Katrina family?
3. What if they steal from us? How do we know they are a nice family?
4. What if they watch tv all day long, and never get a job?
5. What if our family needs a break, and we can't get the family to leave?
Over the days I will begin to answer these question as I come up with information about them.
Today I can answer part of number 3. We can't say anyone would or wouldn't steal from us. But there is a national clearing house for Katrina victims, and we can have a criminal background check on them and our family. We want it to be a good match.
Jyotsna
1. How will this affect my children?
2. Will I have enough income to support our family and our Katrina family?
3. What if they steal from us? How do we know they are a nice family?
4. What if they watch tv all day long, and never get a job?
5. What if our family needs a break, and we can't get the family to leave?
Over the days I will begin to answer these question as I come up with information about them.
Today I can answer part of number 3. We can't say anyone would or wouldn't steal from us. But there is a national clearing house for Katrina victims, and we can have a criminal background check on them and our family. We want it to be a good match.
Jyotsna
New Orleans and the Gas Crisis
The photo's and video coming out of New Orleans become more tragic and shocking each and every day. Today is day 5. Some people have not had food and water for 5 days. Some have had a bit of this and a bit of that. I feel so helpless to not be able to do something important to help these people.
Someone shared this story, and I wanted to pass it on. This comes from the Astrodome in Houston, TX:
Subject: The Astrodome:
A Report
I just got back from 6 hours working at the Astrodome. I got over there at 6:30 this morning. The reception center was in the Astro Hall just next to the Astrodome. Thousands of people were lined up outside waiting to get processed in. The busses were still arriving. It is hard to capture in words the scene and the feelings. As you have seen on TV 98% of the people are black. I would say that 25% of the people are elderly and infirm; 50% are mothers with small children; and 25% are mother, father and children. Few appear to be able bodied men.They are all exhausted. The room reminded me of the scene at the finishing line of a marathon. Total exhaustion. The people were polite and appreciative. A lot of tears of gratitude. Many wanted to recount their experiences. They were in the Superdome, in the suburbs, out on the freeways. I spent a fair amount of time just being a caring person..I spent a couple of hours setting up cots. We lined them up in lines two cots head to toe, about 200 shoved next to each others in each a line, 8 lines. The cots for the most part are those that are sprung loaded with a bar on each end. We put a rough blanket on each..I then handed out Red Cross Comfort Kits bags. These had soap, toothpaste, tooth brushes, etc. Most people headed for the bathroom to try to clean up. They stripped down and took sponge baths. A couple of boys had washed their clothes and were trying to dry them under the hot air hand dryer. Most of the rest of the time I was passing out cold drinks. We had three big horse troughs with soft drinks and water in ice. As the sun rose it got very hot outside so we began carrying cold water outside to the people waiting in line. I felt like I was witnessing the scene in the movie ?Schindler?s List? where Schindler hosed down the boxcar to get water to the Jews inside. These people were desperate for water..Two girls came up to me barefooted. They said they had lost their shoes in the flood. We went back to the room where there were bags of donated clothes and found them some shoes and socks. .I was on my way out when I saw an older women who had a permanent tracheotomy. She was crying. She had to hold up a plug to her neck so she could talk. She said she needed to lie down right away and all the beds were taken. I managed to find her a bed. She lay down and I covered her. She was asleep by the time I walked away. Many people were worried about relatives. One woman said her husband had gotten on the bus behind hers but it did not go to Houston. There is no way right now to reunite families. People are walking around holding signs with someone?s name on it..A lot of Houston people are pouring into the Astrodome to help. At least for now there are plenty of volunteers. The Houston Police are out in force and staying out of the way. The Red Cross is doing a great job. If you ever had doubts about donating to them, I can tell you that they are absolutely necessary in situations like this. Private citizens would not be enough. The medical community is out in force and many of these people need medical treatment..They need money. They need clothes and especially they need shoes. If you live in a city that has a shelter they need your time. If not today then over the next few weeks..These refugee centers will provide some immediate relief but you can not leave people sleeping cheek to jaw for very long. Also there are no chairs. There is nothing to do. They will have to be dispersed to smaller centers where they have a little privacy.Many of the refugees became volunteers themselves. They helped keep things clean. They carried drinks and tables and chairs. Janis Joplin has a line in a song that goes "Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose." That song came to me as I was working there this morning, partly because it also mentions New Orleans. Most of these people had nothing left to lose before Katrina. Now they have lost that.
A.9/2/2005
Gasoline
Then there is the issue of gas. I drove through my neighborhood and about 2 miles in circumference of it as well. I found 9 gas stations. Of the 9, all had bags on the pump handles, and ONE (ONLY 1) had a truck filling the ground with regular. Cars were in que, waiting for gasoline at 8:30 pm tonight. We were planning to go on a Labor Day camping trip with our family. When Wednesday and Thursday came, and the news that it would be very hard to get gasoline, our family made the hard but smart decision to stay at home, and preserve our gasoline for work, school and utmost necessities.Frankly, I don't know how I will be able to continue to drive. I have to drive twice a day to the school, and I go no where else. The cost of gasoline is so prohibitive that I don't know if I can continue to do this. I can see this is going to be much more far reaching than originally anticipated. I don't think that the prices for gas will drop at all, and in fact we may be facing prices of $5.00 - $6.00 per gallon. We will have to walk everywhere. Because we are so close to New Orleans, we are deeply affected. On the news, many people were getting gas, AND filling up tanks too. No one wants to take a chance. I am so worried. If we have an emergency, I would have to drive 10 miles to the hospital. What if I ran out of gas? Oh dear.
Jyotsna
Someone shared this story, and I wanted to pass it on. This comes from the Astrodome in Houston, TX:
Subject: The Astrodome:
A Report
I just got back from 6 hours working at the Astrodome. I got over there at 6:30 this morning. The reception center was in the Astro Hall just next to the Astrodome. Thousands of people were lined up outside waiting to get processed in. The busses were still arriving. It is hard to capture in words the scene and the feelings. As you have seen on TV 98% of the people are black. I would say that 25% of the people are elderly and infirm; 50% are mothers with small children; and 25% are mother, father and children. Few appear to be able bodied men.They are all exhausted. The room reminded me of the scene at the finishing line of a marathon. Total exhaustion. The people were polite and appreciative. A lot of tears of gratitude. Many wanted to recount their experiences. They were in the Superdome, in the suburbs, out on the freeways. I spent a fair amount of time just being a caring person..I spent a couple of hours setting up cots. We lined them up in lines two cots head to toe, about 200 shoved next to each others in each a line, 8 lines. The cots for the most part are those that are sprung loaded with a bar on each end. We put a rough blanket on each..I then handed out Red Cross Comfort Kits bags. These had soap, toothpaste, tooth brushes, etc. Most people headed for the bathroom to try to clean up. They stripped down and took sponge baths. A couple of boys had washed their clothes and were trying to dry them under the hot air hand dryer. Most of the rest of the time I was passing out cold drinks. We had three big horse troughs with soft drinks and water in ice. As the sun rose it got very hot outside so we began carrying cold water outside to the people waiting in line. I felt like I was witnessing the scene in the movie ?Schindler?s List? where Schindler hosed down the boxcar to get water to the Jews inside. These people were desperate for water..Two girls came up to me barefooted. They said they had lost their shoes in the flood. We went back to the room where there were bags of donated clothes and found them some shoes and socks. .I was on my way out when I saw an older women who had a permanent tracheotomy. She was crying. She had to hold up a plug to her neck so she could talk. She said she needed to lie down right away and all the beds were taken. I managed to find her a bed. She lay down and I covered her. She was asleep by the time I walked away. Many people were worried about relatives. One woman said her husband had gotten on the bus behind hers but it did not go to Houston. There is no way right now to reunite families. People are walking around holding signs with someone?s name on it..A lot of Houston people are pouring into the Astrodome to help. At least for now there are plenty of volunteers. The Houston Police are out in force and staying out of the way. The Red Cross is doing a great job. If you ever had doubts about donating to them, I can tell you that they are absolutely necessary in situations like this. Private citizens would not be enough. The medical community is out in force and many of these people need medical treatment..They need money. They need clothes and especially they need shoes. If you live in a city that has a shelter they need your time. If not today then over the next few weeks..These refugee centers will provide some immediate relief but you can not leave people sleeping cheek to jaw for very long. Also there are no chairs. There is nothing to do. They will have to be dispersed to smaller centers where they have a little privacy.Many of the refugees became volunteers themselves. They helped keep things clean. They carried drinks and tables and chairs. Janis Joplin has a line in a song that goes "Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose." That song came to me as I was working there this morning, partly because it also mentions New Orleans. Most of these people had nothing left to lose before Katrina. Now they have lost that.
A.9/2/2005
Gasoline
Then there is the issue of gas. I drove through my neighborhood and about 2 miles in circumference of it as well. I found 9 gas stations. Of the 9, all had bags on the pump handles, and ONE (ONLY 1) had a truck filling the ground with regular. Cars were in que, waiting for gasoline at 8:30 pm tonight. We were planning to go on a Labor Day camping trip with our family. When Wednesday and Thursday came, and the news that it would be very hard to get gasoline, our family made the hard but smart decision to stay at home, and preserve our gasoline for work, school and utmost necessities.Frankly, I don't know how I will be able to continue to drive. I have to drive twice a day to the school, and I go no where else. The cost of gasoline is so prohibitive that I don't know if I can continue to do this. I can see this is going to be much more far reaching than originally anticipated. I don't think that the prices for gas will drop at all, and in fact we may be facing prices of $5.00 - $6.00 per gallon. We will have to walk everywhere. Because we are so close to New Orleans, we are deeply affected. On the news, many people were getting gas, AND filling up tanks too. No one wants to take a chance. I am so worried. If we have an emergency, I would have to drive 10 miles to the hospital. What if I ran out of gas? Oh dear.
Jyotsna
Thursday, September 01, 2005
Kindergarten, camping and GAS!
Kindergarten is going well. The girls started this Monday fulltime, and they have never turned back. I am so proud of them! Many friends have said that they obviously were well prepared for Kindergarten, since they went in, and really have never turned back. Even Lakshmi who spoke of "not" going to Kindergarten, is fine with it, but very tired after school. Priya just seems to find more power with her experience, and it is a joy to watch her as she takes it all in.
Lakshmi and Priya both finished their homework (for the week) on Monday. The teachers told me that if they could do all of that on one day, that she would be happy to increase the work. We will see. I don't want them overwhelmed, afterall, this IS Kindergarten, not first grade.
But they are doing remarkably well, considering they haven't had years of daycare and preschool like many of the kids. Frankly the selfish mom in me would love to have them home for 10 more years!
Priya's teacher is great. She is calm, and she is slowly starting the process of teaching the kids, but nothing to pushy. I am sure this week alone has been devoted to getting to know each other and falling into the routines of school. Here teacher commented after the first day, "You prepared Priya so well for Kindergarten! Very few kids are ready like Priya". Just to mention, Priya is one of the youngest children in the class, as is Lakshmi.
Lakshmi's teacher is...well...um...different. She is much older, she is a control lady, and has even given instructions at school like, "brush teeth first in the morning, then get dressed", which is exactly opposite of what we do. I don't think it is her place to tell Lakshmi "when" to brush her teeth. She is the "school" teacher. I am the home teacher, and I do all the home training, which by the way is going JUST fine. I haven't spoken to a single parent from Lakshmi's class yet. I have only spoken to the teacher twice, and that was on the first day. She told me that I should let Lakshmi walk from the entrance of the school to the classroom, and that I would not be walking her to her room after the first day. Well, I am not know for doing exactly what is told of me by people who don't know our family! I will continue to walk Lakshmi in to the class. I did it with Ravi, and the teacher was very sweet about it. I am doing it with Priya, and her teacher hasn't said a word, and many of Priya's classmates parents are doing the same thing! It is KINDERGARTEN after all!
The very day that Lakshmi's teacher gave me the "don't walk her to class speech", she sent this home in the folder.
Thoughts at the Bottom of a Beanstalk
Imagine a teacher telling a parent the very last paragraph! I don't believe Kindergarten is the time to start "letting go and saying bye". And honestly, I don't know many kids who seperate from their mom the first day without some stress, and Kindergarten certainly isn't the time when a child starts letting go for the rest of her life! No doubt this is the first step in a series of steps away from a child's parents, but this is certainly not the time to LET GO! Attitudes like this really bug me.
Well, honestly, I don't care for the teacher, but Lakshmi needs a chance to get to know her and I haven't told Lakshmi what I think afterall. But I can see such a clash in our basic values, that I am thinking ahead to the possibility of asking for a new teacher for Lakshmi. I would hate to do that, but I think Lakshmi shouldn't be coming home telling me how her teacher wants her to get ready in the morning!
Ravi is doing great, and his teacher is fabulous again! She is actually the parent of a child from his class last year. Ravi has been in school for 3 weeks, and his teacher often tells me, "I wish all my kids were like Ravi, it would make my day easier". She is refering to Ravi's good nature and focus on his grades.
Camping
We are going camping this weekend, that is if the gas stations don't close! Ravi and I went camping right before I went to Calcutta to get Lakshmi. But that was the one and only time, and I am so excited to take all three kids now. They all walk, go to the potty, and eat without full assistance now! Now it will just be the issue of keeping up with them. I am thinking about taking the bikes with us, if we can get them in the van.
Gas Prices
I am shocked, literally shocked about the gas prices! I don't know what to say, but it certainly scares me very much. We are all so dependent on gasoline. Without it we are grounded. The kids school is the furthest place from us, at 7 miles one way. While it doesn't seem like alot, it is adding up since I drive back and forth 2 times per day, Monday - Friday. I don't add anything else to my day, since I am practically driving on empty.
Several gas stations here in our city were not open today, and many more ran out of gas this evening. It seems the price isn't the worst problem. We may not even be about to get gas soon.
I hope my readers have better luck with gas prices in their cities. When I pulled up to the gas station today, the price changer was out. For a moment I thought about watching her change the price, and then it dawned on me that I should get the gas for the old price before they are changed. I bought it for $2.75, completely unacceptable, and then the price changed right after that to $3.19! I'm talking about REGULAR!! We are expecting prices to soar over $4.00 soon. I won't be able to drive after that.
Today my dad drove to a little place in Mississippi that hasn't caught up with the rest of the gas prices yet, and bought me 3/4's a tank in gas for $2.61. Thanks Dad!
Jyotsna
Lakshmi and Priya both finished their homework (for the week) on Monday. The teachers told me that if they could do all of that on one day, that she would be happy to increase the work. We will see. I don't want them overwhelmed, afterall, this IS Kindergarten, not first grade.
But they are doing remarkably well, considering they haven't had years of daycare and preschool like many of the kids. Frankly the selfish mom in me would love to have them home for 10 more years!
Priya's teacher is great. She is calm, and she is slowly starting the process of teaching the kids, but nothing to pushy. I am sure this week alone has been devoted to getting to know each other and falling into the routines of school. Here teacher commented after the first day, "You prepared Priya so well for Kindergarten! Very few kids are ready like Priya". Just to mention, Priya is one of the youngest children in the class, as is Lakshmi.
Lakshmi's teacher is...well...um...different. She is much older, she is a control lady, and has even given instructions at school like, "brush teeth first in the morning, then get dressed", which is exactly opposite of what we do. I don't think it is her place to tell Lakshmi "when" to brush her teeth. She is the "school" teacher. I am the home teacher, and I do all the home training, which by the way is going JUST fine. I haven't spoken to a single parent from Lakshmi's class yet. I have only spoken to the teacher twice, and that was on the first day. She told me that I should let Lakshmi walk from the entrance of the school to the classroom, and that I would not be walking her to her room after the first day. Well, I am not know for doing exactly what is told of me by people who don't know our family! I will continue to walk Lakshmi in to the class. I did it with Ravi, and the teacher was very sweet about it. I am doing it with Priya, and her teacher hasn't said a word, and many of Priya's classmates parents are doing the same thing! It is KINDERGARTEN after all!
The very day that Lakshmi's teacher gave me the "don't walk her to class speech", she sent this home in the folder.
Thoughts at the Bottom of a Beanstalk
Imagine a teacher telling a parent the very last paragraph! I don't believe Kindergarten is the time to start "letting go and saying bye". And honestly, I don't know many kids who seperate from their mom the first day without some stress, and Kindergarten certainly isn't the time when a child starts letting go for the rest of her life! No doubt this is the first step in a series of steps away from a child's parents, but this is certainly not the time to LET GO! Attitudes like this really bug me.
Well, honestly, I don't care for the teacher, but Lakshmi needs a chance to get to know her and I haven't told Lakshmi what I think afterall. But I can see such a clash in our basic values, that I am thinking ahead to the possibility of asking for a new teacher for Lakshmi. I would hate to do that, but I think Lakshmi shouldn't be coming home telling me how her teacher wants her to get ready in the morning!
Ravi is doing great, and his teacher is fabulous again! She is actually the parent of a child from his class last year. Ravi has been in school for 3 weeks, and his teacher often tells me, "I wish all my kids were like Ravi, it would make my day easier". She is refering to Ravi's good nature and focus on his grades.
Camping
We are going camping this weekend, that is if the gas stations don't close! Ravi and I went camping right before I went to Calcutta to get Lakshmi. But that was the one and only time, and I am so excited to take all three kids now. They all walk, go to the potty, and eat without full assistance now! Now it will just be the issue of keeping up with them. I am thinking about taking the bikes with us, if we can get them in the van.
Gas Prices
I am shocked, literally shocked about the gas prices! I don't know what to say, but it certainly scares me very much. We are all so dependent on gasoline. Without it we are grounded. The kids school is the furthest place from us, at 7 miles one way. While it doesn't seem like alot, it is adding up since I drive back and forth 2 times per day, Monday - Friday. I don't add anything else to my day, since I am practically driving on empty.
Several gas stations here in our city were not open today, and many more ran out of gas this evening. It seems the price isn't the worst problem. We may not even be about to get gas soon.
I hope my readers have better luck with gas prices in their cities. When I pulled up to the gas station today, the price changer was out. For a moment I thought about watching her change the price, and then it dawned on me that I should get the gas for the old price before they are changed. I bought it for $2.75, completely unacceptable, and then the price changed right after that to $3.19! I'm talking about REGULAR!! We are expecting prices to soar over $4.00 soon. I won't be able to drive after that.
Today my dad drove to a little place in Mississippi that hasn't caught up with the rest of the gas prices yet, and bought me 3/4's a tank in gas for $2.61. Thanks Dad!
Jyotsna
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
Kindergarten, Here We Come!
I never thought I would see this day. No, I am not in a hurry. On the other hand, I would really love to keep my girls home one more year. But tomarrow, I will walk my girls into each of their respective classes, and their teachers will reach out and accept them from me, my little Lakshmi and my little Priya, my three foot long leg huggers who are dying to learn.
Tonight was Parent's Night at the school. I think this is where I started to feel overwhelmed.
First I am still sick, and overwhelmed from IndiaFest (it was great!). I went to Ravi's class first, then bounced back and forth between Lakshmi and Priya's class, trying my best to get all the info I needed for them to have a sucessfull year, and instead I felt unsucessfull for not being able to stay in each room the whole time! Now, I have to hand over my darlings, who have kept me company for the last 5 years (Lakshmi) and 4 years (Priya).
I am on the verge of tears. I feel so emotional tonight. By morning, the routine will be in motion, and we will have walked to their classes, and by then, my girls will go seperate
day-lives from now on. I can't even imagine them seperately anymore. They have played, eaten, bathed, napped, danced, slept and even had their diapers changed together; with one of my legs over each girl to hold them down.
Now we will have two teachers, two lunch boxes, two sets of supplies, two backpacks (or pakpaks as Lakshmi still calls them) two seperate school uniforms, two sets of homework, two different projects, two everythings that drives them constantly in different directions, and drives my heart crazy!
Oh God, why are you hurting me like this? A mother can't take all of this at once!
How envious I am of the mothers who can proudly watch one child enter school, with assurance that she has fully prepared her child.
I feel like all of me is splitting in half!
Jyotsna
IndiaFest
This past weekend, we had IndiaFest. It was a our best ever. Here are some photos, of the event, from my pitiful camera. I wish I could get the photos that our professional took. Perhaps I will this week.
Mendhi Markers
Rakhi Making
Dandiya Dance Workshop
More Dandiya
Even more Dandiya
Indian Coloring Pages
Display Table
These cute little fellows are reading a book about grandfathers. Each year I set up a display table to share Indian household things for all to see.
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
A WAHMchicks Auction by me...
http://www.wahmchicks.com/item.php?id=50f4d8fe621728ad0d5a8e72ff601c55&mode=1
Please take a look and bid if you can!
Jyotsna
Please take a look and bid if you can!
Jyotsna
Sunday, August 07, 2005
Be Kind To Your Parents
The kids and I love to sing songs from a book called "Rise Up Singing".
One of the funniest songs is "Be Kind To Your Parents".
Be kind to your parents tho' they don't deserve it.
Remember they're grown-ups, it's a difficult stage of life.
They're apt to be nervous & a little over excited.
Confused from their daily storm and strife.
Just keep in mind, tho' it sounds odd I know.
Most parents were children long ago (it's incredible).
So treat them with patience & sweet understanding.
In spite of the foolish things they do.
Some day you may wake up & find you're a parent too.
We also like a song by Crosby Stills, Nash and Young.
"Teach Your Children"
You who are on the road.
Must have a code that you can live by.
And so, become yourself.
Because the past is just a goodbye.
Teach your children well
Their fathers hell (I changed the word for the kids!) did slowly go by.
And, feed them on your dreams.
The one they pick's the one you'll know by.
And don't eve ask them why - if they tell you,
You'll just cry, so just look at them and sigh.
And know they love you.
And you, of tender years.
Can't know the fears that your elders grow by.
And so, please help them with your years.
They seek the truth before they can die.
Teach your parents well.
Their children's hell did slowly go by.
And feed them on your dreams.
The one they pick's the one you'll go by.
And don't ever ask them way - if they tell you
You'll just cry so just look and them and sigh.
And know they love you.
Hope you enjoy them like we do!
Jyotsna
One of the funniest songs is "Be Kind To Your Parents".
Be kind to your parents tho' they don't deserve it.
Remember they're grown-ups, it's a difficult stage of life.
They're apt to be nervous & a little over excited.
Confused from their daily storm and strife.
Just keep in mind, tho' it sounds odd I know.
Most parents were children long ago (it's incredible).
So treat them with patience & sweet understanding.
In spite of the foolish things they do.
Some day you may wake up & find you're a parent too.
We also like a song by Crosby Stills, Nash and Young.
"Teach Your Children"
You who are on the road.
Must have a code that you can live by.
And so, become yourself.
Because the past is just a goodbye.
Teach your children well
Their fathers hell (I changed the word for the kids!) did slowly go by.
And, feed them on your dreams.
The one they pick's the one you'll know by.
And don't eve ask them why - if they tell you,
You'll just cry, so just look at them and sigh.
And know they love you.
And you, of tender years.
Can't know the fears that your elders grow by.
And so, please help them with your years.
They seek the truth before they can die.
Teach your parents well.
Their children's hell did slowly go by.
And feed them on your dreams.
The one they pick's the one you'll go by.
And don't ever ask them way - if they tell you
You'll just cry so just look and them and sigh.
And know they love you.
Hope you enjoy them like we do!
Jyotsna
Saturday, August 06, 2005
Mud Island River Experience
In Memphis, we have the Mud Island River Experience. This is a multi-experience park, which takes visitors through the early days of Memphis by the river. Our River is both beautiful and dangerous. Many wonderful things have happened there, and sadly, we had an earthquake in the 1800's, that moved the river backwards.
Also, in our city we have have the yellow fever epidemic twice, and once it killed almost everyone in our city. The nuns from the Episcopal Church downtown sacrificed their lives for those suffering with yellow fever, and died along with those sufferers, becoming the Martyrs of Memphis.
We also are the home of the Blues, soothing sad music that shares the stories of those who lived here. Elvis became the King of Blues in the 1960 and 1970's, and lived here in Memphis, sharing his Gospel and Blues music.
Martin Luther King died here fighting for freedom. His family runs the Martin Luther King Museum here now. They continue to fight for the rights of all people now.
Arun Gandhi, grandson of Gandhi ji, runs the Gandhi Institute, which features a pictorial of the life of Gandhi, from early childhood, to his actual death. Arun Gandhi and his wife have run Gandhi Institute for years, unbenownst to the general public. Arun is fighting for peace.
Coming to Memphis, you can't just stay for one day. To experience Memphis, you must be here at least a week, to experience all the major and minor historic events that occured here.
I love this city. I love the history surrounding this place, and I will always come back home, no matter where I live.
Jyotsna
Also, in our city we have have the yellow fever epidemic twice, and once it killed almost everyone in our city. The nuns from the Episcopal Church downtown sacrificed their lives for those suffering with yellow fever, and died along with those sufferers, becoming the Martyrs of Memphis.
We also are the home of the Blues, soothing sad music that shares the stories of those who lived here. Elvis became the King of Blues in the 1960 and 1970's, and lived here in Memphis, sharing his Gospel and Blues music.
Martin Luther King died here fighting for freedom. His family runs the Martin Luther King Museum here now. They continue to fight for the rights of all people now.
Arun Gandhi, grandson of Gandhi ji, runs the Gandhi Institute, which features a pictorial of the life of Gandhi, from early childhood, to his actual death. Arun Gandhi and his wife have run Gandhi Institute for years, unbenownst to the general public. Arun is fighting for peace.
Coming to Memphis, you can't just stay for one day. To experience Memphis, you must be here at least a week, to experience all the major and minor historic events that occured here.
I love this city. I love the history surrounding this place, and I will always come back home, no matter where I live.
Jyotsna
Photo's
Here are some photo's from the last few adventures....
Coming home is always exciting because our city looks so beautiful from the other side of the river.
Here is what it looks like from Arkansas...
And across the bridge from Akansas, before entering Memphis...
The Pyramid, a Memphis landmark...
One of the many old fashioned trolleys in the refurbished downtown area...
Mississippi River, one of our river bridges and the downtown water front at the River Boat dock.
The first pictures were taking from my car, and this was a very cloudy day, so I am sure it doesn't look as beautiful as it normally does!! I just love our city though. It has so much to offer.
Lakshmi's new dress for IndiaFest:
We are in the process of getting our new Indian clothing for IndiaFest, coming up on the 20th of August. I will be doing Kid's Corner at IndiaFest again this year, and all of us will be representing the family at various points. Me in Kid's Corner, Lakshmi dancing, and Ravi and Priya in the fashion show. Then at the evening events, which will go two days, Ravi and I will attend the professional music programs, a live classical dance program, and a live popular music program as well. We need to be dressed well for these events. It has been fun finding the clothing. I will be making lengha choli's for Lakshmi and Priya for fun, but we have some seriously beautiful threads! A friend of mine is in Tulsa, Oklahoma right now at the India Adoptee program and she purchased Ravi two kurta pyjama's, and Priya one beautiful green lengha choli. I am totally indebted to her because all I could find was a cheap chenile type lengha choli at a local Indian store, and it had stains! Yuck!
Here is a photo of Lakshmi playing dress-up.
Lakshmi dressing up in scarves. She loves to do this and makes dresses, skirts, sari's, pants, blouses and more with all the scarves, then calls herself a "princess"! How cute! She has her "hoochi mama" halter top on, as a sarong style outfit. She also has a beautiful golden tan for this summer. This is probably the darkest she has ever been. Her skin just absorbs the sun like nothing else.Okay, enjoy! I don't want you all to think all we ever do is worry about custody issues! : )
Jyotsna
Thursday, August 04, 2005
Hodge Podge
There is so much to share.
Custody
First, sadly, Chandra has motioned the court for me to have a psychological evaluation in concern to the custody of the children. He has been invited to participate in mediation, but is refusing.
Not only that, but he has come to the back of the house and knocked on Ravi's window several times and terrified him. He wasn't expecting someone in the back yard, knocking on the window and let out a scream.
Another time Chandra was seen going through the garbage, opening my old mail, then putting HIS garbage in the trash can. He doesn't live here for goodness sake!
He has felt like he has free range in the yard, even though he hasn't had a key to this house since April 24th, 2002. Finally I warned him that if he comes back to the property, I will call the police, and they have already been here several times and told him that he would be arrested, unless he was invited by me.
This is too much for the kids to bear. They should be enjoying the innocense of childhood at this time, and he is over at the back window scaring Ravi by popping up and knocking!
I explained to Ravi that visitors come to the front door, and those who are doing something wrong come to windows. How else do I explain to Ravi that this is wrong?
I don't want him to let his dad in through the window. This could put us all in danger.
Otherwise, there are some more fun things to share, which is the purpose of the blog!
Happy Birthday!
Ravi turned 9 this past Monday! Hard to believe my little chubby baby is such a big boy now!
I thought he would be a baby forever, and boy was I wrong. He grew 2 1/4 inches this year, and his total height is 51 3/4 inches. He is 60lbs this year, and was 50lbs a year ago! There is no doubt in my mind that he is moving close to puberty. We celebrated by the kids playing with a friend, and later Ravi going to camp and having cupcakes with his friends.
At home we had yet another cake (a delicious white chocolate cake with creme cheese frosting) and a nice dinner.
This coming Sunday, Ravi will have a bowling party with a bunch of his friends, and he is really looking forward to that!
IndiaFest
This year I am doing the Kid's Corner again for IndiaFest. It has it's same joys and frustrations as last year, and I am kicking my butt trying to get finished up with the data for it, and then buy all the supplies that I need!
SCOUTS
Ravi wanted to join Scouts last year, but I couldn't come up with the time because I was still in school myself. However this year, I have more time. We went to the Boy Scouts office and got information about Scouting for this year. Ravi will be a Bear Scout since he is 9.
The troup goes on frequent camping trips, hiking, and more. They have meetings each week, which will keep Ravi occupied in the evenings when he gets real bored!
I have wanted to take my kids camping but due to the fact that I am a single mama, and until this year the girls were just too undependable when it came to dangerous things, I was not able to take them camping except when my parents were involved (extra hands!!). But now it seems our family will be getting to know the GREAT OUTDOORS!
I hope and pray that the travel injunction will be lifted after September, and Ravi will be going on these trips. I definately wasn't up to being a troupe leader last year, but this year I can give it a try! If I go, the girls will go too, and this will be a great adventure for our family.
Now I can't wait until the girls get involved in Scouts. I was a Girl Scout as a kid, and I loved scouting! I learned some of the most incredible things at Scouts. I learned to tie ropes, start a fire with a flint, cook on an open fire, and all those songs we sang...I still sing them today with my kids. I wish I still had my GSA Handbook. That was a precious book to me, and had all types of writing in it, including all the information about earning my badges.
I went to Girls Scouts with my best friend, and about 10 years ago, we decided to attend the Anniversary Camp Out, where Girl Scouts from all over the region, from 5 to 89 came to meet up with our old friends, hike the feilds we hiked back then, eat in the mess halls and just go back to those simpler days. It was the most fun thing I have done as an adult.
I will never forget the Soapstone Falls, and being allowed to slide around in those hilly, slippery, natural slides. Now they are off limits because they are being studied. Who knew such fun could be limited and now they aren't allowed to enjoy it?
Okay, well that is enough about Scouting!
.
.
.
.
.
.
Best news for last! (go all the way down!)
.
.
.
.
.
.
I GOT MY LICENSE! : )
Jyotsna
Pictures to follow!
Custody
First, sadly, Chandra has motioned the court for me to have a psychological evaluation in concern to the custody of the children. He has been invited to participate in mediation, but is refusing.
Not only that, but he has come to the back of the house and knocked on Ravi's window several times and terrified him. He wasn't expecting someone in the back yard, knocking on the window and let out a scream.
Another time Chandra was seen going through the garbage, opening my old mail, then putting HIS garbage in the trash can. He doesn't live here for goodness sake!
He has felt like he has free range in the yard, even though he hasn't had a key to this house since April 24th, 2002. Finally I warned him that if he comes back to the property, I will call the police, and they have already been here several times and told him that he would be arrested, unless he was invited by me.
This is too much for the kids to bear. They should be enjoying the innocense of childhood at this time, and he is over at the back window scaring Ravi by popping up and knocking!
I explained to Ravi that visitors come to the front door, and those who are doing something wrong come to windows. How else do I explain to Ravi that this is wrong?
I don't want him to let his dad in through the window. This could put us all in danger.
Otherwise, there are some more fun things to share, which is the purpose of the blog!
Happy Birthday!
Ravi turned 9 this past Monday! Hard to believe my little chubby baby is such a big boy now!
I thought he would be a baby forever, and boy was I wrong. He grew 2 1/4 inches this year, and his total height is 51 3/4 inches. He is 60lbs this year, and was 50lbs a year ago! There is no doubt in my mind that he is moving close to puberty. We celebrated by the kids playing with a friend, and later Ravi going to camp and having cupcakes with his friends.
At home we had yet another cake (a delicious white chocolate cake with creme cheese frosting) and a nice dinner.
This coming Sunday, Ravi will have a bowling party with a bunch of his friends, and he is really looking forward to that!
IndiaFest
This year I am doing the Kid's Corner again for IndiaFest. It has it's same joys and frustrations as last year, and I am kicking my butt trying to get finished up with the data for it, and then buy all the supplies that I need!
SCOUTS
Ravi wanted to join Scouts last year, but I couldn't come up with the time because I was still in school myself. However this year, I have more time. We went to the Boy Scouts office and got information about Scouting for this year. Ravi will be a Bear Scout since he is 9.
The troup goes on frequent camping trips, hiking, and more. They have meetings each week, which will keep Ravi occupied in the evenings when he gets real bored!
I have wanted to take my kids camping but due to the fact that I am a single mama, and until this year the girls were just too undependable when it came to dangerous things, I was not able to take them camping except when my parents were involved (extra hands!!). But now it seems our family will be getting to know the GREAT OUTDOORS!
I hope and pray that the travel injunction will be lifted after September, and Ravi will be going on these trips. I definately wasn't up to being a troupe leader last year, but this year I can give it a try! If I go, the girls will go too, and this will be a great adventure for our family.
Now I can't wait until the girls get involved in Scouts. I was a Girl Scout as a kid, and I loved scouting! I learned some of the most incredible things at Scouts. I learned to tie ropes, start a fire with a flint, cook on an open fire, and all those songs we sang...I still sing them today with my kids. I wish I still had my GSA Handbook. That was a precious book to me, and had all types of writing in it, including all the information about earning my badges.
I went to Girls Scouts with my best friend, and about 10 years ago, we decided to attend the Anniversary Camp Out, where Girl Scouts from all over the region, from 5 to 89 came to meet up with our old friends, hike the feilds we hiked back then, eat in the mess halls and just go back to those simpler days. It was the most fun thing I have done as an adult.
I will never forget the Soapstone Falls, and being allowed to slide around in those hilly, slippery, natural slides. Now they are off limits because they are being studied. Who knew such fun could be limited and now they aren't allowed to enjoy it?
Okay, well that is enough about Scouting!
.
.
.
.
.
.
Best news for last! (go all the way down!)
.
.
.
.
.
.
I GOT MY LICENSE! : )
Jyotsna
Pictures to follow!
Thursday, July 21, 2005
Ravi's Life in Cartoon
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
Raising Hindu Children; answers
This article has come at the right time for me. I believe I am making some mistakes about the way I am raising my kids as Hindus. I felt this for this whole year, and certainly, I feel much better after reading this article about Raising Hindu Children.
I am so clear in what to do to improve my kids understanding of what being Hindu is all about. It wasn't a great idea to take Ravi to Vacation Bible School, but it also didn't hurt him badly. What was the worst thing I did for all three kids, and myself, was to not include Hindu worship in our every day life. Bringing Hindu culture into our lives recently has been great, and Indian culture for the kids as well.
While I am aware of who "I" am, but I had forgotten to make sure my kids know who they are, as their Mama Guide.
Interestingly, at the same time that I felt concern for my kids, I have again been invited to run the Kid's Corner at IndiaFest this year. I wasn't planning on doing this again, because I was all bummed out about being stuck in this bird cage of a legal issue. My wings have been clipped, and I allowed that to stop me from feeling happy. And now, just like that, I can see so very clearly, and I am in the right place.
This time in the kids lives is the most important time for them if I am going to impart my Hindu values on them. I've GOT IT! : ) Okay universe, you can stop now! : )
Jyotsna
I am so clear in what to do to improve my kids understanding of what being Hindu is all about. It wasn't a great idea to take Ravi to Vacation Bible School, but it also didn't hurt him badly. What was the worst thing I did for all three kids, and myself, was to not include Hindu worship in our every day life. Bringing Hindu culture into our lives recently has been great, and Indian culture for the kids as well.
While I am aware of who "I" am, but I had forgotten to make sure my kids know who they are, as their Mama Guide.
Interestingly, at the same time that I felt concern for my kids, I have again been invited to run the Kid's Corner at IndiaFest this year. I wasn't planning on doing this again, because I was all bummed out about being stuck in this bird cage of a legal issue. My wings have been clipped, and I allowed that to stop me from feeling happy. And now, just like that, I can see so very clearly, and I am in the right place.
This time in the kids lives is the most important time for them if I am going to impart my Hindu values on them. I've GOT IT! : ) Okay universe, you can stop now! : )
Jyotsna
Monday, July 18, 2005
Hindu Heritage Camp
All three of my kids went to Hindu Heritage Camp yesterday (Sunday). I had no idea what it would be like, but the minute we arrived, I realized every thing would be FINE. My kids brought a friend who's family was staying with us this weekend. These are our Baptist friends, wonderful people. I love all of them. They are an adoptive family, and have three children as well. One child is biological, one is adopted domestically and half Indian, half Caucasion, and the last one was adopted from Korea. Now, they are waiting for a little girl from Thailand.
There is no doubt that I was surprised when they said, "We would like to send our kids to the camp with your kids". They are fairly strict Christians, God loving people, good people who love their kids. You couldn't ask for better friends. I just because amazed that they would allow their children to attend the HINDU camp! Funny how things work! This is the exact opposite thing that we did in our family last week.
I asked her (before we went) how she would feel if he got confused because of the camp, and she said, "I would straighten him out, we aren't going to have him worshipping as a Hindu in our house, and when he turns 18, he can do what he wants to, if he leaves". It was a very rough moment for us, but we worked through it.
Next year, I will be helping the camp become a 1 week program, similar to VBS, but with a different name, and focus on Hindu Heritage and Arts.
Well, I am so relieved. Ravi LOVED the camp, and really didn't want to leave. It was perfect for him, and we signed up for a Hindu Family Magazine and should get it soon. It is bilingual, (Gujerati/English).
Thank you for all the emails and advice I have gotten from you all! We will make it through this!
Jyotsna
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