Finding Our Balance

Finally I am able to come back to blogging, on a regular basis. There is so much to tell. For one thing, life is generally going smooth. The kids are doing well in school, I am improving my honing skills (directional) and I am no longer lost like I was in th beginning. I can drive from one town to another, or find a tiny country farm.

When I first got here a little over a month ago, I accidently found a goat farm. Then a couple of weeks later I FOUND them again, on purpose! LOL! I would love to have a couple of goats so I could give Priya goat milk, fresh. I think she would find goat milk much more copable.

Just yesterday, I found the part of town where one can buy a $300,000.00 house. Getting lost is really like finding myself!

Our daily balance in life is that of getting used to going to a new school. We attended a Christmas program the other night at the school, and we felt so much more at home.

Ravi is having a hard time finding his balance here. He came home from visiting with his dad, saying, "It's boring in the country!". There is so much more to do in the city, like going to a park, or going to museums." I asked him if he had been to a park yet with his dad. "Well, yes, once, in the dark". I asked, "Have you been to a museum yet?" Ravi said, "No, but I plan to and you can't go to a museum here in the country, it is soooo boring".

Of course, Ravi wasn't with me the weekend that I went to an art museum, and I hadn't any idea that he wanted to go. Last time I asked him, he told me they were boring!! LOL!

Ravi is riding the fence right now. He see's that at his dad's, he can do things he can't do at my house. I won't let him sass me, nor is he allowed to kick the walls, spray paint the garage or be mean to his little sisters. With his dad, if he gets mad due to his dad's attempts to discipline, his dad will coddle him to stop him from being angry. Ravi is seeing the distinct advantage in living with his dad, instead of me.

Last night when Ravi was in bed, his dad called (he called earlier but Ravi was in the shower -- and his dad wanted me to HOLD THE PHONE till Ravi was finished!). Ravi talked with his dad, and started playing with him, sounding very sad, and lonely, and then said, "I want to be with you daddy". So after they got off the phone, Ravi proceeded to cry, to lose control of himself and nothing I could do could help him feel better. Finally I told him, "Son, I am sorry you feel so sad. You will see your dad very soon, remember during Christmas holidays?". RAvi continued to cry, and this turned into a temper tantrum where he said he didn't like me anymore. At that point I told him I love him very much, but that I would NOT stand around getting my feelings hurt. If he needed me, he would need to let me know, but I was going to leave the room. At this point he began to cry again, and said he needed me. I sat there with him and rubbed his back, and listened to him.

Ravi is confused. He wants the freedom to not be supervised with his dad. His dad is so selfish in many ways, that he has very little idea of what is going on in Ravi's heart. This is where Ravi gets very upset, and has fantasys of what it would be like if his dad really did care and understand him.

Bottom line, he is playing the fences, one time he is tattling on his dad to me, and another moment he is saying he wants to live ith his dad. I guess I never thought it would come so soon!
come back from a visit, it takes several days for them to get back in the swing on things. So far school is not suffering, but I assume that it will, if we can't find our balance in visitations.


EVERYDAY LIVING:
As far as our home life, the kids are having a wonderful time, with the exception of some fighting occassionally amoung the kids. Let me explain that. We are living in another families home at this time. Their are 9 of us here, total of 6 kids, 3 adults. Not it isn't some group home thingy. My friends saw the situation I was in with my now ex-husband, not having income, no savings, and no money what so ever. Our of their kind hearts, they offered to share their new addition with us, so we now live in that, which used to be a very large garage.

The woman, Sara, and I share cooking duties, and rotate kitchen cleaning ect. While I have set up my living room in our sleeping space (with a very cool media set-up) we use their dining room and kitchen. We have two refrigerators, and there are only two bathrooms amoung us. Naturally the dishwasher and bathtub are always running!! Ravi is taking showers most of the time now, so at least it doesn't take as long to get him all cleaned up.

We have about 20 acres of land to run around on, and the kids use this to their full advantage. Amoung all the fun things, there are bikes for all the kids, a trampoline, in the summer there is a feeding trough for a pool, and a garden to help with, and horses EVERYWHERE. The kids believe I have special magical powers because I talk to the horses and they always whiney or neigh back at me.

The kids are pretty resourceful with the land, and I think more than bikes and toys, the earth is the most interesting thing to them. They dig, and dig, and dig. I think Lakshmi made it to China one day. That's what I did as a child. I dreamed of digging a fort into the ground. I was going to be able to go down into the hole, and everyone else would be able to stand on the ground over it. Then I could go down to China, through my secret door. Most of the other side of the world was mapped in my mind thorugh digging! Since I grew up in the south, in the Bible thumping region of the world, even the Devil (mythical figure of the underworld) could be accessable through digging, but the only other way there was through hells burning gates!

Personally for me, I can't wait until we start to grow our garden.
I love the musty smell of the damp earth on my hands.

HOUSE HUNTING:
While I am not nearly ready to buy a house, I have done my share of looking. Just the other day I was eyeing a beautiful but unfinished house. I just stopped in front of it to eye it up close, and the man who owns the house, came out and said hello. Apparently, as the story goes, in 1999, a tornado touched down here in the town, and stripped several blocks of houses, leaving nothing but the dirt. He didn't tell me if anyone died, but from the looks of the town, it has been hard for everyone to rebuild. I wondered why there were some mobile homes in the neighborhoods, where usually the associations don't allow that.

He told me that second story was completely destroyed, and pulled off the house. He decided to build around the entire house, so that the house from before is there, but a new house will be there. I don't understand the concept, but apparently the house was an antebellum, and they didn't want to see the house bulldozed.

The houses for sale in this area stretch from cottages, ranches, bungalows, historic homes from 200 years ago, to incredible $300,000.00 and up homes. This is a tiny town compared to where I lived before. It has it's quaint feel, and I love it in many ways.

Sadly, I can only afford a house in the $100,000.00 range.
In a few days, I will post a few photos of the area, and houses for sale.