Well, I should be overjoyed, but instead I am worried! They accepted my offer, and I am so thankful. However, we can't move in for 6 weeks! What a raincloud on my excitement. I don't know where we will live for 6 weeks! What a quandry.
They accepted the offer at $102,000.00.
Wish us luck!
Jyotsna
Monday, March 27, 2006
Friday, March 24, 2006
What do you think?
I have been thinking about opening my eyes to a partner, and one idea was to sign up with some wedding websites. Have any of you used wedding websites to find a partner, and did you have any sucess, scary stories, or tidbits of advice I should hear?
I am terribly lonely. It has been alone for over 4 years. More if you count the time I was still living with my ex when things were all wrong. I am not sure I can trust myself to find a good partner anymore. I am too old to mess around with this and mess up. I think about my kids growing up without a very good male role-model (no this isn't primary reason). Hey, can I say it here...I miss that closeness and intimacy that marriage naturally brings.
I have looked at a few websites, perused the profiles of some of the men. When I think about finding a partner, I think about someone my age or close. When I imagine why 40 plus year old men are available, it is only one of two things normally....they are divorced OR they are gay.
What would produce such a large number of 40 plus year old men that are divorced?
Obviously the gay men wouldn't be on the website looking for a female partner. So I would need to glean over hundreds of profiles of men, mostly divorced, small fraction being widowed, the rest never married. Why never married by 40? Hummmmmmmmm.
Okay, lets see what you have to say. Should I try to find a man in the grocery, the aisle at Walmart, or on a website that does matchmaking? Give me your stories! I am truely lost. I haven't looked for a man in more than 15 years (and back then I was so hot I didn't need to lOOk!).
Living Lonely,
Jyotsna
I am terribly lonely. It has been alone for over 4 years. More if you count the time I was still living with my ex when things were all wrong. I am not sure I can trust myself to find a good partner anymore. I am too old to mess around with this and mess up. I think about my kids growing up without a very good male role-model (no this isn't primary reason). Hey, can I say it here...I miss that closeness and intimacy that marriage naturally brings.
I have looked at a few websites, perused the profiles of some of the men. When I think about finding a partner, I think about someone my age or close. When I imagine why 40 plus year old men are available, it is only one of two things normally....they are divorced OR they are gay.
What would produce such a large number of 40 plus year old men that are divorced?
Obviously the gay men wouldn't be on the website looking for a female partner. So I would need to glean over hundreds of profiles of men, mostly divorced, small fraction being widowed, the rest never married. Why never married by 40? Hummmmmmmmm.
Okay, lets see what you have to say. Should I try to find a man in the grocery, the aisle at Walmart, or on a website that does matchmaking? Give me your stories! I am truely lost. I haven't looked for a man in more than 15 years (and back then I was so hot I didn't need to lOOk!).
Living Lonely,
Jyotsna
Johari's Window
This is a graph that shows what others think about your personality. Click here to participate in this by telling me what you think about my personality.
http://kevan.org/johari?name=Jyotsna's+Journal
http://kevan.org/johari?name=Jyotsna's+Journal
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
Life marches on....
I made another offer on the house today, and let just hope that they work with me. It seems that I may not get this house for less than one hundred thousand. I was in deep shock last night. This whole house hunting thing is so overwhelming. I have been holding my breath for over a week with all the preparation for when I would make my offer. Then, after the couple not even making a counter offer, I felt that I would just have to rent an apartment. I even started job searches because I felt that if I couldn't get that house, that I didn't even want to stay here! LOL! It has it's impact on me. The kids are so wrapped up in getting the house too.
Ravi and Lakshmi are on spring break week with their dad now, and Priya is with me, and I am glad that Ravi and Lakshmi are missing this whole thing! Priya doesn't understand this enough to bother her. Ravi does.
Perhaps sometime tomarrow, I will know if they accept or counter my offer, or if they just have decided that I have offered way to little, and they feel offended enough to NOT work with me at all.
Well, whether or not we get this house, I have found some great job options while searching today. I have applied to them all, just in case. I also searched for the kids dad. He has told me that he lost his nights and weekends job. This is good for the kids, but now he is saying that he can't afford to pay the child support payment, and I decided to share several options with him, so that he can't say he can't find a job! He could work only ONE job, and bring in $75 thousand and up a year, but he prefered to work day and night and only make $37 thousand. Now without his night/weekend job, he will only be making about $23,000. Hard to imagine.
One moment things look up, and the next, I am wondering if even the child support payment will come. I would really hope that jail is not in the immediate future of their dad!
Ravi and Lakshmi are on spring break week with their dad now, and Priya is with me, and I am glad that Ravi and Lakshmi are missing this whole thing! Priya doesn't understand this enough to bother her. Ravi does.
Perhaps sometime tomarrow, I will know if they accept or counter my offer, or if they just have decided that I have offered way to little, and they feel offended enough to NOT work with me at all.
Well, whether or not we get this house, I have found some great job options while searching today. I have applied to them all, just in case. I also searched for the kids dad. He has told me that he lost his nights and weekends job. This is good for the kids, but now he is saying that he can't afford to pay the child support payment, and I decided to share several options with him, so that he can't say he can't find a job! He could work only ONE job, and bring in $75 thousand and up a year, but he prefered to work day and night and only make $37 thousand. Now without his night/weekend job, he will only be making about $23,000. Hard to imagine.
One moment things look up, and the next, I am wondering if even the child support payment will come. I would really hope that jail is not in the immediate future of their dad!
Friday, March 17, 2006
Monday, March 13, 2006
Another photo of the same house....
This is the front. The far two right windows are my bedroom, from the front of the house to the BACK! I plan to put our TV, vcr/dvd player, videos, dvd's and all, in my room. It is large, so it will be the place where the kids and I watch tv or watch movies if we do.
From my room, is a small space which is a step down, and it will have my computer, my exercise machine and then it goes to my bathroom. Double french doors lead out to the deck in the back.
On the left side of the house, is our living room, with a wood burning stove. Then to the back (middle left side windows) is our long dining room, with enough space for a very big and long table. Off of the dining room is Ravi's room and the second bathroom.
Further back is the kitchen. VERY large and spacious. I am so excited about this, even more so than my bedroom. The kitchen has "eat-in" possibilities. To the right of the kitchen is a pantry with the washer and dryer, and room for food storage. Through double doors, it goes further out to the deck out back.
Back to the kitchen, further back, is Lakshmi and Priya's room. It is wide (across the length of the house) and fairly narrow.
The attic is floored, and it could be a fourth bedroom one day, if I ever decided that I wanted to move up, or my parents wanted to move in.
Total square footage between the house and the shop; over 2500 square feet. Our old house was just over 1000. It was a very tiny house. This house is 1500 sf (still small) not including the attic space, which when done would be 2000 sf. This is very nice for a family of four. And if and when I am able to adopt again, then the attic space will become necessary! I guess in that case that Ravi would go up, and the girls would stay in their bedroom, and the newest child would get Ravi's room (which is small).
Jyotsna
10 Best/Worst Days
Darshani is doing this at her blog, and I thought I would do the same. It is sobering, and yet, hopeful!
Ten Worst Days of my life: (in chronilogical order)
1. When I returned from the summer holidays going into third grade, and my old teacher said, "Look at you, you have gotten really fat", and then she laughed, this uncontrollable laugh which hurt me deep inside. I felt unloved.
2. The day my sister moved away from our house (she was 18 and I was 10)
3. When I learned that I may never be able to get pregnant, or carry a baby to term. (at 19)
4. Not making the University Choral Ensemble (smaller speciality group) in my second year of college. This had a major impact on my not returning till years later.
5. Losing a pregnancy, that I never thought I would have, and with that hopes of being a biological mother.
6. Getting the news that the twins we were to adopt, were no longer available, that the teenage mother had decided to parent.
7. The day my x-husband hit Ravi on the head with a cooking pan, forcing me to make the choice between my children and my husband. (I chose the kids).
8. The day of my divorce.
9. The day I moved out of my house after the divorce, that I have lived in for about 10 years, leaving behind all those memories, the measurements on the wall of the kids, and the energy from nursing three babies and raising my kids.
10. ???
Ten Best Days of My Life:
1. The day I was born. I believe I have a purpose in this life, just like everyone else.
2. The day graduated highschool! Never so glad to get out of that place!
3. First day of college, moving into the dorm, signing up for classes; it was the first real taste of adult life, making my own choices ect.
4. The day of my wedding. I was so happy to pledge my love to my husband, and start a new life with him. Even though we are divorced now, I am so glad I met him, and fell in love with him. We had a wonderful beginning, and I am sure it would have continued to be wonderful if something hadn't happened to him, changing him.
5. My first positive pregnancy test. If I could bottle that excitement and sell it, I would be a millionaire.
6. The day that we got the referral for Ravi's adoption!! March 12th the FedEX man came to the door, and had me sign for a package from our adoption agency, and the cutest baby photos were within that packet! I was happy to finally begin that journey towards really being a mom!
7. The day I brought home Ravi from India. 11/97
8. The day I brought home Lakshmi from India. 10/00
9. The day I brought home Priya from India. 9/01
10. The day of my divorce. I say that because that day was the first legal day where the police could NO LONGER say, "I'm sorry mam, he has just as much of a right to be here on this property as you do, even though he is threatening you, upsetting the kids, and peaking through the windows at night!
So if you read my blog, please take a moment to do the same, 10 worst/best days of your life!
Jyotsna
Ten Worst Days of my life: (in chronilogical order)
1. When I returned from the summer holidays going into third grade, and my old teacher said, "Look at you, you have gotten really fat", and then she laughed, this uncontrollable laugh which hurt me deep inside. I felt unloved.
2. The day my sister moved away from our house (she was 18 and I was 10)
3. When I learned that I may never be able to get pregnant, or carry a baby to term. (at 19)
4. Not making the University Choral Ensemble (smaller speciality group) in my second year of college. This had a major impact on my not returning till years later.
5. Losing a pregnancy, that I never thought I would have, and with that hopes of being a biological mother.
6. Getting the news that the twins we were to adopt, were no longer available, that the teenage mother had decided to parent.
7. The day my x-husband hit Ravi on the head with a cooking pan, forcing me to make the choice between my children and my husband. (I chose the kids).
8. The day of my divorce.
9. The day I moved out of my house after the divorce, that I have lived in for about 10 years, leaving behind all those memories, the measurements on the wall of the kids, and the energy from nursing three babies and raising my kids.
10. ???
Ten Best Days of My Life:
1. The day I was born. I believe I have a purpose in this life, just like everyone else.
2. The day graduated highschool! Never so glad to get out of that place!
3. First day of college, moving into the dorm, signing up for classes; it was the first real taste of adult life, making my own choices ect.
4. The day of my wedding. I was so happy to pledge my love to my husband, and start a new life with him. Even though we are divorced now, I am so glad I met him, and fell in love with him. We had a wonderful beginning, and I am sure it would have continued to be wonderful if something hadn't happened to him, changing him.
5. My first positive pregnancy test. If I could bottle that excitement and sell it, I would be a millionaire.
6. The day that we got the referral for Ravi's adoption!! March 12th the FedEX man came to the door, and had me sign for a package from our adoption agency, and the cutest baby photos were within that packet! I was happy to finally begin that journey towards really being a mom!
7. The day I brought home Ravi from India. 11/97
8. The day I brought home Lakshmi from India. 10/00
9. The day I brought home Priya from India. 9/01
10. The day of my divorce. I say that because that day was the first legal day where the police could NO LONGER say, "I'm sorry mam, he has just as much of a right to be here on this property as you do, even though he is threatening you, upsetting the kids, and peaking through the windows at night!
So if you read my blog, please take a moment to do the same, 10 worst/best days of your life!
Jyotsna
Sunday, March 12, 2006
Spring Time; Househunting
The last few days have had temperatures in the 80's (F). Hot in comparison to the earlier part of the year where we froze our tails off! Flowers and trees are blooming, including jonquils, dogwoods and redbuds.
I found a three bedroom (9 foot ceilings!) house that I love. This adorable house is calling out to me. I really like it, the land with it and the overall charm that eludes the house and properties. There is a 1000 sq. ft. building behind the house, and I have it earmarked for my massage practice! Check it out!
Jyotsna
I found a three bedroom (9 foot ceilings!) house that I love. This adorable house is calling out to me. I really like it, the land with it and the overall charm that eludes the house and properties. There is a 1000 sq. ft. building behind the house, and I have it earmarked for my massage practice! Check it out!
Jyotsna
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