Well, we sort of knew that Ravi wouldn't be getting on honor roll this time. Both he andI were very disappointed. I wasn't disappointed in Ravi, just in the fact that he wasn't able to pull up his math grade enough to be accepted to the optional public school in our area. If he does well on T-CAP exam, I will still apply to Grahamwood Elementary for him, and perhaps this one C, will not affect his ability to get into this school. It is one of the best elementary public schools in the country with an outside classroom that has been mentioned in magazines everywhere.
I just know that the optional program there would do two things for Ravi:
a) allow him to realize his full potential as a 3rd grader
b) allow him to be in a classroom with a large group of Indian kids.
The school has an excellent racial mixture, and would allow Ravi to explore the world, in his school. There is a project or paper due every week. It would keep me on my toes, but I too look forward to being more challenged as a parent. When I was homeschooling Ravi, we had projects all the time. It gave me something to do with my son, that was constructive, and also fun.
As for Ravi's class right now, there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with it, nor is there anything wrong with his teacher. She is the BEST teacher I have met at this school. She is both firm with managing her class, and gentle like a mother. The combination is perfect, especially for Ravi.
However, where I have a problem is with some of the children in this class. There are at least 5 children in a class of 21 who have severe behaviour problems. One child just got suspended for 1 week. He throws things, cartons of milk in the lunch room, and screams and hits in the classroom. I just have a hard time seeing such disruptive kids in the classroom, which leads to all of the children being disruptive.
Well, we will see what happens. I love Ravi like crazy cakes, and I hope he will pull up his math soon, so he can have what he wants!
Jyotsna
Wednesday, February 23, 2005
Priya and her tantrums
Priya is this beautiful child, little girl who monopolizes my world by all her questions, her nervous and excited behaviour, and her inability to bond and attach like most children do.
I have yet to get an actual diagnoses of attachment disorder, because the RAD therapist who live here broke her back holding a kid with attachment disorder. I am not surprised at all. When I finish doing therapuetic holding with Priya, I am sore all over. I have bruises where she has managed to kick me, pinching bruises, sometimes bite marks, but usually just a very exhausted feeling that doesn't go away until the next day.
Holding Time, a book by Martha Welsh has become my mainstay for protecting myself and the kids from Priya when she is in her worst disregulated mood. It often comes out of nowhere. Usually from a feeling of fear, where she is not sure that she will be safe.
Those loud sucker toilets in stores are the worst. Commotion in crowds. Me asking her to stop doing something. These and more can bring on the worst temper tantrum a 4 year old could have. Worse than Lakshmi's SID tantrums, that usually end when I give her a nice firm hug, or brush her with the SID brush, a very small brush that has hundreds of tiny bristles.
Her tantrums have gotten so bad that I have resorted to finding a respite family to care for Priya one a week or less, so I can get a break from her, and give Ravi and Lakshmi the attention they absolutely don't get when Priya is home.
There is a well known therapist in the attachment disorder community I participate in, that uses a man by the name of Walter Buenning to come into the home and stay for 2 - 3 days, diagnose the child/ren, establish just what types of behaviours are going on, and also train the family to handle these situations then observing them to make sure they are managing the child correctly. I want to bring him into our home to help both Priya and Ravi, but it is so cost prohibitive, that I don't know when I will be able to hire him. The cost of hiring him for the 2-3 day weekend is total around $6000.00.
I hope that I will be working soon, so I can start to save for this therapuetic intervention for our family.
Many families with adoptees who have RAD or difficult attachments have sworn that this man works miracles in the lives of those who live with kids with RAD.
I love Priya so much. I want for her what Lakshmi has...that total trust, that happiness, that ability to enjoy life without trying to control it. I am hoping that this is what works for her. She is 4 years old now, and I have been dealing with these behaviours since the day I picked her up at the orphanage. Sometimes I feel so overwhelmed that I just want to take a long nap, and not wake up for several weeks.
Jyotsna
I have yet to get an actual diagnoses of attachment disorder, because the RAD therapist who live here broke her back holding a kid with attachment disorder. I am not surprised at all. When I finish doing therapuetic holding with Priya, I am sore all over. I have bruises where she has managed to kick me, pinching bruises, sometimes bite marks, but usually just a very exhausted feeling that doesn't go away until the next day.
Holding Time, a book by Martha Welsh has become my mainstay for protecting myself and the kids from Priya when she is in her worst disregulated mood. It often comes out of nowhere. Usually from a feeling of fear, where she is not sure that she will be safe.
Those loud sucker toilets in stores are the worst. Commotion in crowds. Me asking her to stop doing something. These and more can bring on the worst temper tantrum a 4 year old could have. Worse than Lakshmi's SID tantrums, that usually end when I give her a nice firm hug, or brush her with the SID brush, a very small brush that has hundreds of tiny bristles.
Her tantrums have gotten so bad that I have resorted to finding a respite family to care for Priya one a week or less, so I can get a break from her, and give Ravi and Lakshmi the attention they absolutely don't get when Priya is home.
There is a well known therapist in the attachment disorder community I participate in, that uses a man by the name of Walter Buenning to come into the home and stay for 2 - 3 days, diagnose the child/ren, establish just what types of behaviours are going on, and also train the family to handle these situations then observing them to make sure they are managing the child correctly. I want to bring him into our home to help both Priya and Ravi, but it is so cost prohibitive, that I don't know when I will be able to hire him. The cost of hiring him for the 2-3 day weekend is total around $6000.00.
I hope that I will be working soon, so I can start to save for this therapuetic intervention for our family.
Many families with adoptees who have RAD or difficult attachments have sworn that this man works miracles in the lives of those who live with kids with RAD.
I love Priya so much. I want for her what Lakshmi has...that total trust, that happiness, that ability to enjoy life without trying to control it. I am hoping that this is what works for her. She is 4 years old now, and I have been dealing with these behaviours since the day I picked her up at the orphanage. Sometimes I feel so overwhelmed that I just want to take a long nap, and not wake up for several weeks.
Jyotsna
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